The Spirit of Giving

Giving is not as simple as it seems on the surface.  Most of us understand the concept of taking something in your possession and handing it to another.  This includes gifts, resources, time, talents, etc.  First we identify a need and then decide that we can meet that need.  Whether this is buying a gift to celebrate an occasion, or assessing what we have to provide for someone or a cause.  Recently I realized that often times our giving is complicated by our own expectations of how the recipient is going to utilize our gift.  Sadly comments are frequently heard that stipulate how a gift should be appreciated and utilized.  Is it truly a gift then?  

If I have pre-determined expectations of what someone should do with my gift, then I have attached invisible strings to it. In my mind, it is as if I am saying, if you will do such and such with my gift, then I will give you this gift.  And if they fail to appropriately utilize my gift, then I can fall into criticism of their choices and values.  It goes downhill from there.  Becoming acutely observant of their choices, voices begin to play out in my head: "Well that was not what I intended them to do with my gift."  This is especially true in situations where money is involved.  Sadly I have witnessed too many times when money changed hands and hearts were changed.  Have you ever heard someone comment to you, "Well when I gave so and so the money they should have used it for......" with great indignation. 

Ironically, the reason for my writing this blog had nothing to do with a negative experience on my part with giving a gift.  Rather I began thinking about the gift(s) that the Lord gives to us and what we do with His gift(s).  Without question, our God has great desires for what we will do with His gifts especially the gift of Jesus Himself.  God knew what the vast majority of the population of the world - past, present and future - was going to do with His gift.  We have only to look around our current world to shudder at the incredible rejection of this extraordinary gift of love.  However, this knowledge did not stop Him from giving us this gift.  Did it?

Agape Love means unconditional, without motivation, without expectation of return.  Not only does our Lord love us this way, but His heart is that we will love one another with the same love.  In talking with different couples in our marriage ministry, we have discussed the difference between the emotion love (a noun) and the action love (a verb).  Love as a verb is behaving in love, acting in love, giving and receiving in love.  There are no strings of expectation.  There is no manipulation.  It is a freely given gift of ourselves and our heart.  It is proactive.  The emotion of love is a feeling that is precipitated by someone's actions or words to us.  It is reactive.

Please do not misunderstand and misinterpret that I am condoning being abused or neglected by people with whom you are in a love relationship.  We must be cognizant of placing our heart in harm's way.  Withdrawing from harm is not a bad thing.  However turning that withdrawal into hate and anger against the harmer is a bad thing.  Studying how Jesus operated when He walked this earth provides an excellent example of walking in truth and love without condoning evil.  We all have choices to make in our relationships.  Hurt is inevitable; it is what we do with that hurt that separates us from others.  

Reactive versus proactive action is a key to walking in freedom and shalom.  I have a choice to make about 2 aspects of giving.  First I can choose to give the gift (my love, my time, my talents, my resources) with an agape heart and hope that this gift will somehow make a positive difference.  Second I can choose how I will act no matter what the recipient does with my gift.  There are so many factors about which we know nothing when it comes to the recipient.  Timing, life circumstances, previous patterns of behavior, etc.  If we want to control what happens with our gift then not only has it not been freely given, but we are trying to control the impact our gift has.  Are we releasing this gift to the hands of God for Him to use it as He sees appropriate for that individual's life?  Are we trusting Him to accomplish His plan (and not ours)? 

As I continue to grow in His love with the ongoing counsel of Holy Spirit I continue to recognize my shortcomings.  What I hear come out of my mouth (which remember is the wellspring of my heart - Proverbs 4:23) sometimes makes me shudder the same as if I had drunk a big gulp of vinegar.  Good grief!  Did I really say that?  Fortunately Holy Spirit is usually very quick to convict me that I must have an issue with my wellspring.  Some pollution has snuck in there without my filtering it out.  This recent revelation is a good check for me.  Proactive love and giving versus reactive is a great place to start my wellspring cleaning.  Perhaps there are a few of you out there who need a little wellspring cleaning too.  I pray that this message has been helpful in a bit of introspection.  Let's all walk in the freedom that the Lord has for us through living in agape love.