The Difference of One Letter

Reflecting on the powerful transformation that God has done in me over the past eight years since I moved to Georgia, I realized that it could be summed up in one simple expression.  By changing one letter in one word, the drastic shift is described:  God changed my "n" to a "v" and I went from lonely to lovely.  However the life alteration is so much deeper.

I have been blessed to minister to many women over these past years, especially since coming to Georgia.  I have heard so many desperate cries to somehow escape the loneliness that they are experiencing.  I understand that feeling, but I also know that there is an answer and it does not lie in human companionship.  I know firsthand.  I remember vividly what it was like to arrive in a brand new city, in a new state and not know a single person.  I know what it feels like to walk into a church and not feel connected or as if anyone really cares about you.  I know how deeply depressing it is to be stuck in a black hole and realize that no one has even paid attention that you have "been missing in action."

Yet I also know the other side.  I know how it feels to be pursued by my lover God.  I know how exciting it can be to finally walk out of an office and eagerly anticipate quiet time at home with my Lord.  I know what His touch is like when I needed it.  I know what His comfort is like when that too was needed.  I learned how to rest in His Shalom.  I learned over time that lovely is how He sees me.  What happened between these two stages? 

It is a process.  It does not happen magically overnight.  So often we have been caught in a vortex of negative emotions and the centrifugal force of those emotions is so strong that we do not believe for one moment that we will ever pull out of it.  But God knows differently.  He knew us from the foundation of time and watched sadly as we became mired in those things that seek to destroy us.  

One of the most powerful forces that we experience is human love or more often the lack or the distortion of human love.  Ever heard the expression, "Oh the things we do for love"?  My personal experience is co-dependency that masked itself as love.  My brokenness, my lack of self esteem, my desperate need for approval and acceptance distorted how I viewed and how I felt about love.  My internal struggle often made me feel as if it was me against the world.  What can I do to finally fit in?  What can I do to make sure that I am not alone in this world?  What can I do to make someone else want to spend their life with me?  Notice all of the I's in those sentences?  One of the first things that I learned in overcoming my co-dependency was that I cannot make anyone do anything particularly love me.  So in the isolation of co-dependency, one feels totally alone even in the midst of a crowd, or in the middle of family.

In loneliness one feels desperate for love.  Sad, isn't it?  The one thing that we want most seems to move further away the more we grasp for it.  But this is when transformation can begin.  When we realize that we can't do this for ourselves and in desperation turn to God, He is standing there saying, "I have been waiting for you to come to me.  I am the source of perfect love for you.  You no longer have to strive because you cannot earn my love.  It is freely given to you.  Just reach out to me and accept it."  After a lifetime of trying to earn people's love, it does take some adjustment to comprehend that God loves us because He is love.  But His love is a gift and we must choose to receive it.  We must choose Him over everything and everybody else in our lives.

When I opened my heart fully to the healing power of His love I began to see the subtle changes in my peace and my joy.  This is different than the salvation power of repentance.  The visual I use is that when we accept the Lord's gift of salvation it is like walking through a threshold.  Sadly many believers stop there, in the doorway and never venture into the "house" of God's love.  Can you imagine going to a party, walking in the front door and then standing there for the rest of the night with your coat on?  Ridiculous you say?  Why bother going in the first place?  Well that is exactly the question that I pose to you and all believers.  Why express repentance and take Jesus into your heart if you not going to develop a full relationship with Him?

Our incredible lover God is so excited about changing us from lonely to lovely, but we have to give Him access.  We have to walk fully into the room and engage in conversation with Him.  Isn't that what you do when someone has invited you into their home (and their hearts)?  You have to want to let Him transform you.  He is a gentleman and respects that wild thing called free will that He gave to us.  He will never force Himself upon us.  He wants us to choose freely to love Him and be loved by Him.  Once you make that choice and embark on engaging Him as you would any good host, you will be amazed with how He responds. 

Please do not let another day go by in which you or someone you care about chooses lonely over lovely.  Turn to Him with an eager expectant spirit and get ready to be amazed.  Exchange the fear of being alone for the joy of being loved.  John 4:16-17 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in him.God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.

Deceptive Fruit

Have you ever walked into a restaurant where they displayed all of the decadent desserts right at the entrance?  Cakes twice or even three times higher than "normal"; cheesecakes that rivaled whole cheese wheels; chocolate tortes that literally were dripping chocolate?  Your mouth begins watering for dessert even before you look at the dinner menu.  Throughout the dinner, you cannot help but think about the dessert that is awaiting you.  Finally the waiter asks if you want dessert and no matter what your stomach is saying, your mind has been made up and you order.  A few bites into the mammoth slice of cake, an argument has begun inside your body.  "Really?????  You had to put more inside me???  Really???? Are you nuts????"

Sometimes the temptation is so sweet that we fail to think through the circumstances fully.  Have you ever heard (or said yourself), "I know I'll pay for this tomorrow but I just cannot help myself!"  Think about this description of the temptation in the Garden of Eden from Max Lucado's book, Six Hours One Friday: It came camouflaged.  It came in a golden goblet with a long stem.  It was in the flavor of fruit.  It came, not in the hands of a king, but the hands of a prince - the prince of the shadows........"Taste it", he whispered, holding the goblet before her.  "It's sweet with wisdom."  We all know the consequences of Eve's choice.  But do we realize that each and every day, the prince of the shadows is looking for ways to tempt us as well? 

Recently our pastor presented us with a visual that was very powerful.  In discussing the lost intimacy with the Lord that pervades our world today, he presented each of us with an apple.  This normal piece of fruit was symbolic of what was lost in the kingdom by the choice of taking a single bite. We were challenged to take the apple home and allow it to be symbolic of that which we would choose over God ~ and not eat this particular apple. Immediately the Lord gave me a further visual.  If we allow the apple to sit untouched, over time it would become dry and shriveled and would lose its appeal.  The very same is true of those things which would draw us away from our Lord.

It is a truth from the Word of God that we will face trials and temptations.  Jesus Himself warned us in Luke 17:1 One day Jesus said to his disciples, "There will always be temptations to sin, but how terrible it will be for the person who does the tempting. Temptations are not only part of our walk, but part of our training ground.  1 Corinthians 10:13 But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.  Note that in this verse there are two "you's".  This means that we have a role in this process.  God's role is twofold: first he will monitor the intensity of the temptation and second he will provide a way out for us.  Now look at our responsibility.  We have to "stand up against it" and then we have to hold out and not give in.  This is where our free will comes in and our understanding that we have consequences to the choices we make.

Let's go back to the dessert analogy for a moment.  There sits a simply delectable piece of cake.  You know that once it enters your body the internal battle will begin against the sugars, fats, indigestible white flour, etc.  Yet you also just know how incredibly awesome that will taste in your mouth before it hits the rest of your body.  Now imagine that you stand against that temptation for today and just leave it sitting on your counter (uncovered of course! :-) ).  Tomorrow you check it out again and are tempted.  You know it has dried out some, but it still looks pretty good.  You withstand again.  You battle daily as you gaze at this slice of cake and slowly it begins to lose its outward attractiveness.  Within a few weeks, the decay becomes real and now it is not only unappealing, but slowly it is becoming repulsive.  Eventually you throw it out because the smell and the sight of it are actually making you nauseous.

So it should be with the temptations of our lives.  If we will just rely on the strength that God is providing us and if we will actively seek the way out that He is providing for us, we will be able to stand against the temptations.  The key is to know where to focus our attention in the midst of the temptation.  Psalm 25:15 My eyes are always looking to the LORD for help, for he alone can rescue me from the traps of my enemies.  No matter what is happening in the circumstances of our lives, the Lord wants us to keep our eyes ever turned to Him.  He alone is our help and our direction.  His promises are real and steadfast.  However, He expects us to do our part in turning away from the temptations of life whether they are physical, emotional or mental temptations.  We must believe that His Word will not return void.  If He said it, He'll do it, or in another more commonly quoted expression, "If He brought you to it, He'll bring you through it."  No matter how tempting that "fruit" is, I choose my God.  How about you?  Selah.