The Repercussions of the Arrows

Vulnerability and transparency are two gifts that you all have given to me by reading this blog.  Through your presence in my life, you have permitted me the luxury, albeit sometimes painful, to pay attention to the more subtle messages from Holy Spirit in my life.  Today, I venture forth into murky waters.  This is a bit of a detour from my usual postings, but I truly believe that this will be revelation for some of you and perhaps confirmation for others.  

I am currently leading a passionate group of ladies in a study of John Eldredge's and Brent Curtis' book Sacred Romance.  In the course of this study we are exploring those things in our lives which have kept us from the ultimate romance with our lover, God.  Whether male or female it is critical that you perceive yourself as the Beloved of God.  We are the Bride of Christ after all.  However, the adversary (a polite title for Satan) works very hard to break up this romance by shooting arrows into our hearts from the time we are children.  These arrows all have messages, lies, wrapped around them that become embedded into our hearts.  This is the third time that I am working through this study and the accompanying workbook.  Each time, the revelation into my life has been deeper and more transforming.  This past Friday was no exception.  The revelation was so powerful that I am lead to share it with all of you and pray that you will also receive some insight into your own lives.  


From the Sacred Romance Workbook, page 44: The things we do to protect and preserve our hearts usually end up hurting us more.  To choose to shut your heart to love - so that you won't be hurt - is to deny the very thing you are made for.  This is really larger than simply "love".  If we simply consider the love aspect from our limited understanding than we will miss the significance of what we do.  As I read this statement and began to meditate on it, the Lord revealed something astounding to me.  Permit me to share a bit of the past with you so that you can understand better.  I recalled an incident in my life when I was in elementary school - maybe 3rd - 4th grade. It was my birthday and traditionally my parents took my sisters and me to our local clubhouse for a birthday dinner. One of my sisters' birthday had been the month before and they had surprised her with a cake after dinner at the club. I was excited about that for me, but I wanted it to be a surprise like it was for her. So in trying to manufacture a true "surprise" I kept saying to my family that I did not want a cake at the dinner. Guess what happened. My parents were torn by my words and did not know what to do, so the cake stayed in the trunk of the car until we got home and I was incredibly disappointed.

A pattern developed for life - avoid disappointment by shutting down expectations. Sadly I see that I still do that today. Even with God. I live life saying "God, do whatever you want to with my life" when in reality what I am saying is "God, I don't want to be disappointed when life turns out differently than I expected. So I therefore don't expect you to do anything miraculously wonderful in my life. I certainly am not going to ask you for anything....."  God basically said to me, "You don't trust Me to not disappoint you like others have.  Yet the love I have for you is like no one else's."  I was stunned to realize that what He was saying was true.  I DO trust God with my life and I do totally submit and surrender to Him, but what I was lacking was the belief that if I asked Him for the desires of my heart, He would give them to me.  It is so much easier to live a life of total complacency in which I simply say, "God do whatever You want with my life. I am totally cool with that."  But what if God is waiting for me to take an initiative and ask Him?  

One of the exercises in the workbook is to write down something that you would secretly love to do if there were no restraints whatsoever to your request.  For 2 years I have been unable to answer that question.  Then this time for the first time, I was able to actually put something down that was extraordinary and wonderful.  What had stopped me from being able to do that before?  Perhaps it was this core belief that if I created an expectation in my life, it would not happen and I would be disappointed - again.   I came to the conclusion that I am living a life that is filled with conflicting beliefs.  I love the surprises God brings into my life - like my precious husband Glen (I had not asked God for Him. :-)).  Yet I was living a life that only allowed room for God to surprise me, not for me to step out in faith and ask Him to be extraordinary in my life.

Sadly, I also came to realize that this belief had surfaced in other areas of my life.  I was willing to settle for whatever came my way and was not willing to venture out there and  expect my relationships to be extraordinary as well.  I was shortchanging the people in my life to be able to bless me and travel with me in this extraordinary adventure called living.  The message I had embraced and let direct my life was this:  don't expect and therefore avoid disappointment and hurt.  Does that sound like a message that came from the Lord?  I realized suddenly that this was a message from the other side that was designed to limit my relationship with the Lord and with everyone else in my life.

This may or may not resonate with you. But this is what is being revealed to me about the impact of early arrows in my life. Each arrow landed in about the same place which ultimately led me to the conclusion that life is just going to happen no matter what I try to do about it. If I try to help it out, it will simply be more screwed up than ever.  Through the grace of our incredible Lord, who does not want me to settle in this life, I am venturing forth.  Baby steps at first, but I know that He is with me and leading me.  I was able to spend a few hours sharing with Glen this breakthrough revelation and that is already shifting our marriage from beautiful and wonderful into the phenomenal, extraordinary range.  Trusting God and trusting others in our lives is an ongoing process, but it is one that I now intend to passionately pursue ~ with GREAT EXPECTATIONS!  I hope that you are as well.   

The Power in Each Believer

Have you ever bought into the myth that certain "Christians" have more power than others?  In other words, pastors have more power than their members; the bigger the congregation the more the power; the more letters after their name (as in degrees) the more power they have, etc.  The same myth goes on to convince "simple members" that there are limitations to what they are "allowed" to do in the body of Christ.  I am not advocating chaos and a spiritual free-for-all; however I am greatly concerned that the body of Christ today is not walking in the full power and authority to which it has been called.  

God is orderly and wants us to operate in the same manner.  In any given service, there is indeed an order, but that order should not limit the body of Christ to do what it is commanded to do in the Word of God.  Each of us has been given the same mandate: Mark 16:15-18   And then he told them, "Go into all the world and preach the Good News to everyone, everywhere. Anyone who believes and is baptized will be saved. But anyone who refuses to believe will be condemned. These signs will accompany those who believe: They will cast out demons in my name, and they will speak new languages. They will be able to handle snakes with safety, and if they drink anything poisonous, it won't hurt them. They will be able to place their hands on the sick and heal them."  There are no limitations in that statement.  In fact it is pretty inclusive ~ "those who believe".  That is cut and dried; sums it up neatly.  Those who believe.  There are no qualifiers there, nothing for someone to opt out over.  Do you believe?  Then miraculous signs will accompany you.  

Acts 6:7-8  God's message was preached in ever-widening circles. The number of believers greatly increased in Jerusalem, and many of the Jewish priests were converted, too. Stephen, a man full of God's grace and power, performed amazing miracles and signs among the people.  Stephen was working in the food ministry of the new church.  He was busy taking care of the physical needs of the growing church.  Yet notice what was happening as he was busy caring out his assignment - he performed amazing miracles and signs among the people.  He wasn't an apostle, in fact he wasn't one of the disciples who was following Jesus when Jesus was moving on the earth.  He was just one of the new believers who was full of God's grace and power.  Do you believe?  Then you are filled with God's grace and power.
 
I think I heard an objection out there....  you are not sure you are filled with His grace and power because you don't see amazing signs and wonders accompanying you?  Guess what, there aren't me either, at least none of which I am aware.  Yes, there have been healings - but not to the degree that limbs were reformed and blindness restored.  I am not exactly "feeling" the miraculous surround me, but I am not discouraged.  Someday when I least expect it, those miraculous events will explode all around me.  I will be ready too.  But there is more to it than just expecting and anticipating.  Receipt of miracles is a two way street.  

Faith on the part of the recipient is a necessary component, and as reluctant as we are to admit it, faith is not in abundance in America.  We have life too easy and do not require the miraculous in order to survive.  I know that for many of us, life has not been a cake walk lately by normal standards.  Then again, America's standards are not the norms of this world.  You know the statistics.  I don't have to repeat them for you.  Where miracles are happening in astounding frequency is in the underdeveloped nations of this world.  Do you understand why?  Faith is the only thing that stands in between life and death for many of those populations.  Their faith is what is sustaining them everyday and keeping them from giving up ~ and the miracles abound.   America however is not going to be left out in God's miracle business.  They are happening here in America, the media just is not talking about them.  The conspiracy against Christianity is huge in our country and we have got to tackle it on an individual level wherever we live and work.

I want to walk in the total fullness of God's power and grace.  I expect to see the miraculous happen around me and through my being Jesus with skin on.  When I pray for someone I expect their healing.  It may not happen in front of me and it may not happen tomorrow, but I believe that God is going to answer prayer and He is going to move in each situation.  I know the miracles He has worked in my own life - they are huge.  They may not be of the "astounding" variety but I know healings have occurred within my body and in my soul.  I know financially our survival everyday is His miracle in spite of what the "natural" looks like.  I give Him the glory and I expect to see the miraculous continue to happen.  I am not a preacher, of the ordained variety, but I am a preacher of His Word as He commanded me and I fully intend to continue to operate as a member of His royal priesthood.  Join me as you fully activate the power that He has already deposited in you!

Believing versus Assuming

If you are reading this most likely you are a believer.  You have proclaimed Jesus Christ as your Savior.  That is probably the most common factor amongst all of us.  Yet somewhere after that point, we all begin to travel different roads.  One of the most challenging aspects of our journeys is our level of faith.  Please note I did not say measure of faith.....  there is a difference.  Our level of faith truly directs our actions and our thought patterns.  Too often  we operate in assumption versus belief however.  

Assumption:  we have committed ourselves to the Lord and therefore the rest of it is handled.  I don't need to ask, He is going to handle it.  He will tell me whatever He wants and all I have to do is willingly walk into it.  True or false?  Before we pursue the answer, consider this scripture.  Ezra 8:22-23 For I was ashamed to ask the king for soldiers and horsemen to accompany us and protect us from enemies along the way. After all, we had told the king, "Our God protects all those who worship him, but his fierce anger rages against those who abandon him." So we fasted and earnestly prayed that our God would take care of us, and he heard our prayer. In this case, Ezra who was high priest understood that as much as he believed in the power of God, he was still compelled to ask God for His protection.  Was he in error?  Did he not believe enough that God was their protector and would watch out for them?

Pray (or some form of that word) appears in the Word 545 times.  Who is praying?  Those that know He is listening.  What are the prayers for?  Everything!  The more that we pray (and by prayer I mean dialogue with God) the more we hear His voice.  But not everyone is praying.  Hard to believe?  I know.  Me too.  The fact is that there is an entire contingent of people that have adopted an attitude of assumption.  Once they accepted Christ as their savior, it was a done deal.  They can continue to live life on their terms and God will cover them - no matter what.  That is what I call assumptive living. We must not buy into the lie of the adversary that we can continue to live life as we used to and still expect to have a relationship with our Lord.  Let's get real.

Ezra was a high priest - privileged to enter the Holy of Holies when at that time no one had access to our Lord.   Yet he clearly understood reverential fear of the Lord.  One must never assume anything (except that He loves us unconditionally).  He wants to hear from us.  He wants to know that we depend on Him and not on our own resources.  Evaluate your own life.  How often have you adopted the attitude, "I can handle this, God.  I don't need to bother you with that."  Hmmm, on the surface that sounds humble doesn't it?  Yet in reality it is arrogance.  What makes us think that our Lord is not concerned about the tiny things of our life?  Matthew 10:29-31 Not even a sparrow, worth only half a penny, can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it. And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows.  Thus when we adopt the attitude that we do not need to speak to God about the various aspects of our life, we are dismissing His concern for us and His value for us.

God is calling us into deeper and more intimate relationships with Him.  Just look around you at our world today.  Never has society been darker - at least in our recent generations, and yet never has God's glory been brighter! I was listening to our praise music this morning (Glen has 24 hours worth of praise music on our computer!) and recognized how different Christian music has become in the last few decades - vertical praise versus the horizontal praise of previous generations.  There is nothing wrong with the old hymns and southern gospel except that the majority of it was about Him versus to Him.  How I love our new direction!  I love getting on my face on the floor of our sanctuary at church and being intimate with Him.  That never happened 20 years ago.  Thank you, Lord for inviting us in further into the Throne Room with You to have that intimate experience that is just between you and me.

Getting back to Ezra, he believed that God would protect them which is why with trepidation he did not ask for soldiers to accompany them on their journey back to Jerusalem.  Yet he was not arrogant enough to assume that they could just move forward without first praying and seeking God's favor for them.  Throughout the Old Testament we see this action repeated.  Those walking in God's favor sought His council and His protection in the dangerous situations they faced.  It was only when they ventured forth on their own without consulting Him that difficulties surfaced.  What about your own life?  Do you pattern your behavior after Ezra? 

Operating within a reverential fear of the Lord is a great foundation for life.  Constantly dialoguing with Him is equally as important.  Even in the little things, this dialogue plays an important role.  I remember over three years ago Glen and I were remodeling the house we were to occupy with his mom.  Before any of the new carpet was laid, I prayed and asked God how He would like each room of the house dedicated.  He gave me specific scriptures for each room and I wrote them on the flooring before the carpet pad was laid.  In a corner of each room is a specific scripture for the purpose of that room.  One of my favorites is that in our guest room.  I call it our Psalm 23 room because the first few verses of that Psalm are written in that room.  It is humbling for me to hear our guests share what an incredible night's sleep they had in there.  God has His hand on them.

I want to encourage you to ratchet up your prayer life with Him.  Be intentional in your daily prayer and be specific in your dialogue with Him. Honestly, I struggle still with being specific.  I want to lean back on my stand by attitude of "Whatever You want, God, is cool with me!"  But I hear Him asking me, "Janice, what do you want?"  It is very tough for me to be specific and I know that it is because historically when I have tried to run my life, I have failed miserably and been disappointed time after time.  But I am learning that He will guide me in my dreams and hopes, if I will open my heart and let those things in.  I am trying to trust even more than I have in the past.  I think that it is time I let God out of my "safe" box and dare to explore all that He has for me.  How about you?

Mephibosheth's Son

One of my favorite stories in the Old Testament is only 13 verses long.  It is the story of Mephibosheth, the grandson of King Saul.  His father was Jonathan, son of King Saul and best friend to King David, long before he became king.  The story actually begins decades earlier when Jonathan and David made a covenant promise to each other.  1 Samuel 18:1-4  After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself. From that day Saul kept David with him and did not let him return to his father's house. And Jonathan made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathan took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt.  If one studies out covenant, it is understood that it is a pact to which one commits his/her life.  There are wonderfully complex aspects to covenant making that are illustrated in these few verses, but that may be a topic for another time.  The reason for stating it now is that it is the foundation on which Mephibosheth's future was established.  

In spite of the errors in judgment that King David made, he exemplified what covenant keeping meant.  On multiple occasions he could have taken King Saul's life and would have been justified given the fact that King Saul was determined to murder him.  Yet David would not harm God's appointed one.  Unfortunately, David did not consistently make wise choices, as we learn in later years with his adultery and then murderous behavior towards the husband of Bathsheba. Prior to this incident however, David was doing what was just and right for his people and operating in the favor of God. It was during this time of Shalom in the land that David sought to rectify an imbalance in his sight.   Three of Saul's sons, including Jonathan, had been killed in the final battle with the Philistines and then Saul killed himself.  Everything that King Saul had accumulated eventually came to King David.  Yet there was a nagging in King David's spirit.  There was a covenant promise he had made with Jonathan, Saul's son.  Covenant promises extend past the individuals that made them to the succeeding generations.

2 Samuel 9 is Mephibosheth's story.  King David seeks out anyone left of the House of Saul and discovers through an old servant of Saul's that Jonathan has a son still alive.  That son is living with another family in a different town and this son has crippled feet.  King David brings him to the royal palace.  One can only imagine what was going through Mephibosheth's mind.  Here is the dialogue: 2 Samuel 9:7-8 "Don't be afraid," David said to him, "for I will surely show you kindness for the sake of your father Jonathan. I will restore to you all the land that belonged to your grandfather Saul, and you will always eat at my table." Mephibosheth bowed down and said, "What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?"  From this point, Mephibosheth is given the land that was his grandfather's and gets to eat at the palace table with King David.  King David instructs the servant that identified him to work his land and harvest the crops and treat him well.

There is a little oh by the way to this story.  Verses 12-13 Mephibosheth had a young son named Mica. And from then on, all the members of Ziba's household were Mephibosheth's servants. And Mephibosheth, who was crippled in both feet, moved to Jerusalem to live at the palace.  Did you catch that?  Mephibosheth had a young son named Mica.  Nothing else is ever said about him.  We know that nothing in the Word is accidental.  God had a purpose for every word that was recorded.  Here we have just one piece of knowledge about Mephibosheth's family - he had a young son.  We don't even know why Mephibosheth was crippled in both feet, but we know that he had a son.  Why is this important to us?

It is all about covenant promises and the importance of keeping them.  The original covenant is between David and Jonathan, long before David becomes King.  That covenant is lasting throughout the generations.  Mephibosheth had no idea that his father and King David were close or that they were connected through a covenant.  He was most likely a young child when his father was killed and much water had figuratively gone under the bridge by then. With most of his significant relatives dead as a result of the war with the Philistines, he most likely lost connections that would have kept his family history in tact for him.  He was trying to survive is my best guess.  Then out of the blue King David calls for him.  We know what a surprise that was through the brief dialogue that occurred between King David and Mephibosheth.  He can't imagine what the King would want with him.  Then in a flash his entire life is reversed and brought into order again.

Who benefits the most from the honoring of the covenant?  I think it is young Mica.  What kind of future did this young man have before King David appeared on the scene?  His father is crippled.  We know how cruelly the society in those days treated anyone with a disability.  Since all of Saul's wealth had been transferred to David as King, most likely Mephibosheth and his son were barely making it.  We could make an assumption that he was being cared for by loyal servants of King Saul.  But we don't really know.  We can conclude with certainty though that young Mica was now enjoying a very different life than before due to his grandfather's covenant promise.  He was redeemed and restored.

Why is this important to us?  God has made a covenant promise with us, one that He intends to honor through the generations.  It began with Abraham and has extended through the centuries to us.  We have been chosen and all of the blessings of the Kingdom of Heaven are ours.  Jesus made a new covenant with us and has promised us even more.  We are heirs to the Kingdom of heaven and recipients of the full power of Holy Spirit.  His promises are true and He is trustworthy to keep His word.  However, just as David acted to keep the covenant alive and working, we too must keep our covenant alive with the Lord.  We can break the personal covenant promise with him.  The people of Israel did and Their lives were much more difficult as a result.  God wants us to honor our covenant with Him just as David did, and the outcome is the opportunity for generations to come to be blessed by our obedience.  Redeemed and restored - that is who we are and that is the potential for our children's children.