The Difference of One Letter

Reflecting on the powerful transformation that God has done in me over the past eight years since I moved to Georgia, I realized that it could be summed up in one simple expression.  By changing one letter in one word, the drastic shift is described:  God changed my "n" to a "v" and I went from lonely to lovely.  However the life alteration is so much deeper.

I have been blessed to minister to many women over these past years, especially since coming to Georgia.  I have heard so many desperate cries to somehow escape the loneliness that they are experiencing.  I understand that feeling, but I also know that there is an answer and it does not lie in human companionship.  I know firsthand.  I remember vividly what it was like to arrive in a brand new city, in a new state and not know a single person.  I know what it feels like to walk into a church and not feel connected or as if anyone really cares about you.  I know how deeply depressing it is to be stuck in a black hole and realize that no one has even paid attention that you have "been missing in action."

Yet I also know the other side.  I know how it feels to be pursued by my lover God.  I know how exciting it can be to finally walk out of an office and eagerly anticipate quiet time at home with my Lord.  I know what His touch is like when I needed it.  I know what His comfort is like when that too was needed.  I learned how to rest in His Shalom.  I learned over time that lovely is how He sees me.  What happened between these two stages? 

It is a process.  It does not happen magically overnight.  So often we have been caught in a vortex of negative emotions and the centrifugal force of those emotions is so strong that we do not believe for one moment that we will ever pull out of it.  But God knows differently.  He knew us from the foundation of time and watched sadly as we became mired in those things that seek to destroy us.  

One of the most powerful forces that we experience is human love or more often the lack or the distortion of human love.  Ever heard the expression, "Oh the things we do for love"?  My personal experience is co-dependency that masked itself as love.  My brokenness, my lack of self esteem, my desperate need for approval and acceptance distorted how I viewed and how I felt about love.  My internal struggle often made me feel as if it was me against the world.  What can I do to finally fit in?  What can I do to make sure that I am not alone in this world?  What can I do to make someone else want to spend their life with me?  Notice all of the I's in those sentences?  One of the first things that I learned in overcoming my co-dependency was that I cannot make anyone do anything particularly love me.  So in the isolation of co-dependency, one feels totally alone even in the midst of a crowd, or in the middle of family.

In loneliness one feels desperate for love.  Sad, isn't it?  The one thing that we want most seems to move further away the more we grasp for it.  But this is when transformation can begin.  When we realize that we can't do this for ourselves and in desperation turn to God, He is standing there saying, "I have been waiting for you to come to me.  I am the source of perfect love for you.  You no longer have to strive because you cannot earn my love.  It is freely given to you.  Just reach out to me and accept it."  After a lifetime of trying to earn people's love, it does take some adjustment to comprehend that God loves us because He is love.  But His love is a gift and we must choose to receive it.  We must choose Him over everything and everybody else in our lives.

When I opened my heart fully to the healing power of His love I began to see the subtle changes in my peace and my joy.  This is different than the salvation power of repentance.  The visual I use is that when we accept the Lord's gift of salvation it is like walking through a threshold.  Sadly many believers stop there, in the doorway and never venture into the "house" of God's love.  Can you imagine going to a party, walking in the front door and then standing there for the rest of the night with your coat on?  Ridiculous you say?  Why bother going in the first place?  Well that is exactly the question that I pose to you and all believers.  Why express repentance and take Jesus into your heart if you not going to develop a full relationship with Him?

Our incredible lover God is so excited about changing us from lonely to lovely, but we have to give Him access.  We have to walk fully into the room and engage in conversation with Him.  Isn't that what you do when someone has invited you into their home (and their hearts)?  You have to want to let Him transform you.  He is a gentleman and respects that wild thing called free will that He gave to us.  He will never force Himself upon us.  He wants us to choose freely to love Him and be loved by Him.  Once you make that choice and embark on engaging Him as you would any good host, you will be amazed with how He responds. 

Please do not let another day go by in which you or someone you care about chooses lonely over lovely.  Turn to Him with an eager expectant spirit and get ready to be amazed.  Exchange the fear of being alone for the joy of being loved.  John 4:16-17 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in him.God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.

Deceptive Fruit

Have you ever walked into a restaurant where they displayed all of the decadent desserts right at the entrance?  Cakes twice or even three times higher than "normal"; cheesecakes that rivaled whole cheese wheels; chocolate tortes that literally were dripping chocolate?  Your mouth begins watering for dessert even before you look at the dinner menu.  Throughout the dinner, you cannot help but think about the dessert that is awaiting you.  Finally the waiter asks if you want dessert and no matter what your stomach is saying, your mind has been made up and you order.  A few bites into the mammoth slice of cake, an argument has begun inside your body.  "Really?????  You had to put more inside me???  Really???? Are you nuts????"

Sometimes the temptation is so sweet that we fail to think through the circumstances fully.  Have you ever heard (or said yourself), "I know I'll pay for this tomorrow but I just cannot help myself!"  Think about this description of the temptation in the Garden of Eden from Max Lucado's book, Six Hours One Friday: It came camouflaged.  It came in a golden goblet with a long stem.  It was in the flavor of fruit.  It came, not in the hands of a king, but the hands of a prince - the prince of the shadows........"Taste it", he whispered, holding the goblet before her.  "It's sweet with wisdom."  We all know the consequences of Eve's choice.  But do we realize that each and every day, the prince of the shadows is looking for ways to tempt us as well? 

Recently our pastor presented us with a visual that was very powerful.  In discussing the lost intimacy with the Lord that pervades our world today, he presented each of us with an apple.  This normal piece of fruit was symbolic of what was lost in the kingdom by the choice of taking a single bite. We were challenged to take the apple home and allow it to be symbolic of that which we would choose over God ~ and not eat this particular apple. Immediately the Lord gave me a further visual.  If we allow the apple to sit untouched, over time it would become dry and shriveled and would lose its appeal.  The very same is true of those things which would draw us away from our Lord.

It is a truth from the Word of God that we will face trials and temptations.  Jesus Himself warned us in Luke 17:1 One day Jesus said to his disciples, "There will always be temptations to sin, but how terrible it will be for the person who does the tempting. Temptations are not only part of our walk, but part of our training ground.  1 Corinthians 10:13 But remember that the temptations that come into your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will keep the temptation from becoming so strong that you can't stand up against it. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you will not give in to it.  Note that in this verse there are two "you's".  This means that we have a role in this process.  God's role is twofold: first he will monitor the intensity of the temptation and second he will provide a way out for us.  Now look at our responsibility.  We have to "stand up against it" and then we have to hold out and not give in.  This is where our free will comes in and our understanding that we have consequences to the choices we make.

Let's go back to the dessert analogy for a moment.  There sits a simply delectable piece of cake.  You know that once it enters your body the internal battle will begin against the sugars, fats, indigestible white flour, etc.  Yet you also just know how incredibly awesome that will taste in your mouth before it hits the rest of your body.  Now imagine that you stand against that temptation for today and just leave it sitting on your counter (uncovered of course! :-) ).  Tomorrow you check it out again and are tempted.  You know it has dried out some, but it still looks pretty good.  You withstand again.  You battle daily as you gaze at this slice of cake and slowly it begins to lose its outward attractiveness.  Within a few weeks, the decay becomes real and now it is not only unappealing, but slowly it is becoming repulsive.  Eventually you throw it out because the smell and the sight of it are actually making you nauseous.

So it should be with the temptations of our lives.  If we will just rely on the strength that God is providing us and if we will actively seek the way out that He is providing for us, we will be able to stand against the temptations.  The key is to know where to focus our attention in the midst of the temptation.  Psalm 25:15 My eyes are always looking to the LORD for help, for he alone can rescue me from the traps of my enemies.  No matter what is happening in the circumstances of our lives, the Lord wants us to keep our eyes ever turned to Him.  He alone is our help and our direction.  His promises are real and steadfast.  However, He expects us to do our part in turning away from the temptations of life whether they are physical, emotional or mental temptations.  We must believe that His Word will not return void.  If He said it, He'll do it, or in another more commonly quoted expression, "If He brought you to it, He'll bring you through it."  No matter how tempting that "fruit" is, I choose my God.  How about you?  Selah.

Coloring Inside the Lines

You may not remember learning to color as a child, but if you have children or grandchildren, you can easily identify with the slow progression from scribbling to blobs of color to finally being able to color a picture outlined in the coloring book. Recently I have come to understand the parallel between coloring and living life. I do vividly recall how good it felt to finally produce a colored picture that was worthy of being viewed. I had learned how to color the outlines very boldly before filling in the spaces with lightened strokes. I had finally mastered the art of coloring inside the lines. How little I realized that this was a pattern I would call my own in living life.

The expectations that we perceive others having about us become the lines of our life pictures. As long as I know what those expectations are, I can live within the lines, not cause a disruption by venturing past those heavily outlined edges of my life/picture. The unfortunate aspect about living life that way is that we seldom know the reality of those expectations. Everything is distorted by our own perspectives. What I think I know about what is inside someone else's head is seldom what is really there. Yet I have set up the boundaries of my life based on those perceived lines.
I truly believed I had let go of all of those "performance" issues that have driven me all of my life.  However, a little conversation, a really little conversation, awakened me to the reality that there are still some roots there that I have not pulled up.  My guess is that for some of you, the same is true.  No matter how hard we try to let go and learn to go with the flow, there are often times aspects of our history that still linger.

What I now realize is that I am moving through daily life trying to stay one step ahead of what I think the people in my life are expecting me to do for them.  Notice the language there - the emphasis is on do.  It is very important to understand that these are not spoken "requests".  Rather, it is the underlying unspoken that I sense is driving me.  I have been an overachiever all of my life.  Perfection reigned supreme because that was how I grew up.  My life now should not be ruled by that principle because I am living in a different time and a different season, but there are little prickles that pop up and I now realize that deep in my subconscious I am thinking, "The lines just changed.  How am I supposed to stay in them now?"

I want you to think about this for a moment.  You have planned your day and are halfway through it when you get a phone call that indicates there has been a change that now impacts the second half of your day.  The mature thing is to adapt and move forward.  After all this is life and nothing is guaranteed to stay the same.  Instead there is that little sigh that escapes and you think, oh great.  Now what? 

The key that I am searching for is the one that unlocks my ability to be flexible and not be caught off guard by changes in my life.  I remember back in the days when I used to do seminars on time management.  I would tell people to plan for interruptions, put time in your schedule for the unexpected.  How quickly we forget our own advice. But this is not about time management.  This is about not experiencing a loss of control and a depreciation in your self esteem just because an outside event or person has changed your day, or even your life.  And that my friends is really what is happening in this scenario.  It is the belief that my inability to stay inside my predetermined lines of life with my crayon is a direct reflection on who I am and my self worth.

Ultimately what we all need to understand and to believe is that God loves us for who we are and not what we do.  I have to continually remind myself of this simple yet profoundly important fact.  In addition, the people that really matter in my life also love me for who I am and not what I do for them.  The sad thing for many of us is that we have bought into the lie that the opposite is true.  If we were to really look at our life and our relationships through God's eyes of transparency, we would realize that there are many many people in our lives who do indeed love us just because.  Let us embrace that and return the favor - love the people in your life for who they are and not what they do or do not do.  We would all be so much better off and so much more relaxed if we did. 

Slinky Living

So, did I catch your attention with that title?? It really is not what you think at first reaction.  The kind of slinky I am referring to is the toy that you may have played with as a kid (or an adult - after all they really are fun!)  Recently I was honored to speak to a women's group and the Lord gave me such a powerful visualization for them that I just have to share it with you.  Everyone that has heard it so far has identified with it.  I pray the same is true today.  

Life is tough sometimes - well in reality, a lot of times.  Lately it seems that everyone who is dear to me is struggling with some circumstance in their lives.  All of us must handle life's transitions at different points.  Usually we cannot prevent these circumstances from coming .  Sometimes we do bring them on by our choices, but even then once the momentum has started we must walk things out.  The choice we have is how we walk it out.  The Lord showed me three simple options.  Which one are you using?  

First we have the turtle. When a turtle is threatened, he pulls everything exposed in and shuts out the world.  How like us sometimes.  Life is too painful and instead of confronting it, we just withdraw.  Close up.  Paralysis sets in.  Do you think that this is God's choice for us?  Hebrews 10:32-36 remind us of what we should expect.   Remember those earlier days after you had received the light, when you stood your ground in a great contest in the face of suffering.  Sometimes you were publicly exposed to insult and persecution; at other times you stood side by side with those who were so treated. You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions. So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.  Doesn't sound like turtle mode does it?

Second option - the yo-yo.   Remember playing with these toys?  Excitedly you looped that string around your finger and tossed it out knowing that it would come right back to you...well maybe...well maybe not.  Then it just hangs there swinging back and forth, back and forth like a pendulum.  Relate that to life.  We want to be in action, we know we need to make some decisions.  So we do, but the ones we make don't move us forward.  We just go from high to low to high and back again.  We get caught in the rut of same old same old.  We talk to the same people, we do the same things, we fail to step out of the comfort zone to move forward in the direction God is calling us.  The movement feels good but it is a false sense of security.  We have been deceived into thinking that we are following the will of God just because we are moving.  James 1:2-4 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.  Hmm God's choice for us ~ the yo-yo?

So that leaves option three - the slinky. When God begins to move us from one stage of our life to the next, it is very much like a slinky.  We are on one level and God says it is time to stretch and move to the next level.  For a brief time we are between the two levels with part of us leaving the old and part of us arriving at the new.  However there are several powerful aspects of being in slinky mode that we must grasp.

#1 While stretched in between the old and the new, we are exposed for many to see our witness.  When we have it "all together" our impact is much smaller - we are less visible.  But stretched out many can see what is going on and witness the power of God in our lives.

#2 While stretched, the glory of God can shine through us whereas when we are all together we can be rather opaque and we are visible versus His glory being visible.  It may appear to those observing that it is through our strength that we have it all together whereas when we are stretched, it is clearly His strength that is keeping us from breaking.  By the way, He knows exactly what our capacity to stretch is and He will not allow us to break.  Isaiah 41:9-10 I have called you back from the ends of the earth so you can serve me. For I have chosen you and will not throw you away. Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you. I will help you. I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. 

#3 Until we release the old level to embrace the new level, we will stay stretched.  God requires us in trusting Him to let go of our present circumstances and move into our new circumstances.  Only then can we rest in our new place and be prepared to move to the next.  Living out God's will requires movement.  We cannot stay in one place, one level and still grow with Him and follow His will for our lives.  Only in releasing will we truly embrace this journey that He has planned for us from the foundations of time.

So the questions for you to ponder are which one of these describes you and are you operating as God desires.  Remember the circumstances are what they are.  Our choice is how are we going to respond to them.  My prayer is that we all will desire to be sanctified slinkies.  Shalom.

What If.....

Have you ever had a miscommunication with someone that dramatically altered the flow of energy between you and another person?  A miscommunication that was very simply a misunderstanding of what you thought you heard versus what that person had actually said?  It happens every day all around us and frequently to us.  I know because I have experienced the intense results of the misinterpretation.  Have you considered that this could happen between you and God?  What if you thought you knew what you were supposed to do and why you were to do it but in reality, you missed what God was saying to you?  What if.....

As I studied my bible this morning and began studying the prophets, Isaiah in particular, I began thinking about the nations of Israel and Judah which were at that time separate kingdoms.  Many times throughout their histories, these nations did not hear the heart of God and what they thought they heard, they misinterpreted in a manner that was comprehensible to them and to their way of life.  Sadly they got way off track and paid a very dear price for their carnal thinking.  But what about us?  Are we capable of making similar mistakes?

Holy Spirit got my attention this morning as He posed a thought to me.  What if everything that I have lived through thus far in my life was not meant to shape me and prepare me for ministry, but rather to draw me closer to our Lord, shedding in the process all of those beliefs, feelings and "things" that blocked His access to me and vice-versa?  What if the ultimate goal for my life is agape love?  His for me and mine for Him?  Sound selfish and egotistical to you?  Well let's think this through.

What is the greatest commandment?  Matthew 22:36-38 "Teacher, which is the most important commandment in the law of Moses?" Jesus replied, "'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. Sometimes we skip too lightly over this scripture.  We know it by heart, yet do we really embrace what it means with our lives?  It is a commandment.  Love God with everything that is you and do this before anything else.  Jesus did not say that the first commandment was to build a fantastic ministry.  He did not say to wear yourself out serving the kingdom.  He did not say to win a thousand souls to Him.  He said, Love Him. 

So where does all of that serving stuff fit in?  The second greatest commandment:  Matthew 22:39-40  A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments."  If we love God first and foremost than being filled with that love, we will be naturally inclined to share it with the world.  You cannot contain it.  God could not contain His love - He had to do something with it - like create a world and create man and woman to have fellowship with Him - to share His love.

Personally I think that I got caught in one of those miscommunications.  I became so focused on doing for Him because I love Him that I lost sight of the primary objective - love Him and make myself accessible to Him.  Gradually I have begun to see that the things I am not doing, or perceive as failure on my part because I am not making a "significant" contribution are fading into the background.  What is becoming crystal clear is that He is drawing me to Him and my passionate desire is to draw close to Him.  

Recently my Ladies Tuesday Bible Study group studied Hagar as one of the Lost Women of the Bible (a book by Carolyn Custis James).  One of the aha moments for us came as we discussed what happened in the wilderness the first time Hagar ran away, when she was just pregnant with her son.  She encountered God face to face, close enough that she gave Him a name "El Roi" - the God who sees me.  He instructed her to return and she did so with no argument, even though she was going back to a very abusive situation. We do not hear again of Hagar behaving badly towards her mistress.  When Hagar and Ishmael are forced to leave the second time, it is Ishmael's fault, not Hagar's.  What could have possibly happened to create such a transformation in Hagar?  Perhaps the answer is as simple as God's love.

When we have an encounter with our God and experience His love unhindered and unconditional, it should have as strong an influence on us as it did on Hagar.   Can we be bold enough to let go of the "stuff" of our lives and focus on Him?  Can we learn to languish in His love and then out of the abundance of that love, flood the lives of those around us?  What if that is truly His heart?  What if He did indeed create us for relationship with Him, to love Him, dwell in Him and enjoy His presence?  What if...  would it change how you live your life today?  Think about it.  Selah!

 

The Bittersweet - Saying Goodbye

On July 31st my Dad passed away.  Four years ago Mom unexpectedly passed with no warning.  In less than 2 weeks, my sisters, our families and I will gather to pay tribute to them both and lay their ashes to rest together.  There is an indescribable finality to this that is indeed bittersweet.  No matter when death occurs, it has an impact on us.  Whether the death is sudden or after a long illness, losing someone you love simply stated is difficult.  Yet there is a celebration when you know that the one you love is now standing in the presence of our Lord and experiencing a joy that we can only imagine.  Indeed we try to imagine them in glorified bodies worshipping and loving in heavenly ways.

For me, I imagine the anguish and pain that often haunts us in our earthly bodies vanishing and the instant vaporization of the cares of this world freeing those that I love.  No longer bound by the hurts inflicted throughout lifetimes; no longer limited in joy because of the past; no longer frustrated by the lack of understanding.  I know unquestionably that both of my parents are in fact experiencing a divine love that they could not know on this earth.  I try to imagine them worshipping together in heaven and can only comprehend the merest glimpse of that.  However they are there and we are here.  What does this parting mean for us?

The death of a loved one, particularly a parent, is multifaceted in its impact.  Yesterday I drafted the eulogy for my dad and in the process was able to view his entire life as the passage of seasons.  I recognized his humanity and the reality of the struggles of it.  I could see him as a man, a person, outside of his role as my dad.  There were many events that occurred that shaped who he was and how he handled life.  In the language of John Eldredge's Sacred Romance, his life interpretations shaped his responses and those interpretations were passed down to his daughters.  While the consequences were not always the most desirable, they were the result of all that had occurred in his life up to that moment.  As long as a person is still present in our midst, we continue to feel those influences even if subtly.  How does the passing of that person now impact us and our lives?

 First I believe we must choose life.  Embracing the reality of eternity and understanding that as long as we are still here on this earth, we have an opportunity to "store up our treasures" in heaven, we can make a conscious decision to retain that which is good, that which is beneficial and release the rest of the stuff that is not.  Philippians 4:8-9 And now, dear brothers and sisters, let me say one more thing as I close this letter. Fix your thoughts on what is true and honorable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Keep putting into practice all you learned from me and heard from me and saw me doing, and the God of peace will be with you.  Each of us has been left a legacy - not only from our parents but from Christ Himself.  We can make the choice to dwell on the positive legacy and not the negative.

For many individuals, the passing of a parent provides just that opportunity.  No longer are you reminded by words spoken or behaviors that everything was not perfect when you were growing up.  The past can be left there and we can move forward into the future each day bringing with us the best of our past and leave the rest behind.  One thing that has become abundantly clear to me is that every family has had its issues.  Very few families were perfect and praise the Lord for those of you who believe yours were.  The more I work with people and pray with people I gain a clearer perspective on the goodness that was in my life throughout my life.  Yes, there were difficulties and certainly my personal response to them was my responsibility.  I made many mistakes and will continue to do so - unfortunately!  I also recognize that the life interpretations of my parents shaped the person I was in making those decisions.  Yet each of us has the choice to start fresh and with the passing of a parent we can make that decision in a most positive and loving light.  Thank you, Mom and Dad for all that you did on my behalf.  I choose to receive that with love and gratitude. 

2 Corinthians 5:17-20 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new. Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.  Now then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ's behalf, be reconciled to God. Not only are we new creations because of Christ, we are to be ministers of reconciliation.  On a very personal level that begins in our families.  Reconciliation is grounded in forgiveness.  God forgave us and we must forgive others.  He has mandated that in multiple places in scripture (check them out).  When we make reconciliation our priority it frees us from the shackles of hurt, resentment, bitterness, etc.  Forgiveness however is a two way street; sometimes we must ask forgiveness of those we have hurt.  I know how important that is because I have experienced what unspoken unforgiveness can do to destroy relationships.  

Being a minister of reconciliation requires action on our part.  Taking the best of our past and releasing the other takes action on our part.  Walking as a new creation takes action on our part.  Honoring our parents as our parents without hanging a noose of guilt around their necks takes action on our part.  In other words, it comes back to that whole choice concept again.  We must choose the path that we will walk, especially in saying goodbye.  The finality of both parents now being gone has many implications.  No more quick phone calls.  No more checking in to see how one is doing.  No more celebration of birthdays and gathering of the clan for that purpose.  Gathering as a family will now become very intentional and will require commitment and planning on everyone's part.  When my mother passed, we all felt as if the glue that held us together was gone.   However we shifted and the uniting factor was assisting one of my sisters with the care of our dad, gathering for his birthdays,  etc.  Now he is gone too.  What will hold us together?

Yes the impact of death is multifaceted yet we can choose to allow that impact to weigh on the side of good and not bad.  It is a choice.  Saying goodbye is never easy, but it is necessary.  My prayer is that we will allow this event to move us to the next level of each of our lives, unconditionally loving each other and those around us.  Shalom.

 

Belief and Unbelief

Many people have the understanding that belief and unbelief are like oil and water; they just don't blend together very well.  Think about the massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico and how that black oil just sat on top of the Gulf waters.  In our faith walk individuals, especially newer believers, often feel as if there is something wrong with them if they experience unbelief.  The reality however is very different.  As believers - as human believers - we do experience unbelief and Jesus even addresses that for us in Mark 9:21-24  Jesus asked the boy's father, "How long has he been like this?" "From childhood," he answered. "It has often thrown him into fire or water to kill him. But if you can do anything, take pity on us and help us." " 'If you can'?" said Jesus. "Everything is possible for him who believes." Immediately the boy's father exclaimed, "I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief !" Not only did Jesus acknowledge the co-existence of the unbelief with belief but He moved into that situation with power, freeing the young boy from the demonic spirit.  He wants to do the same for us.

Instead of thinking of oil and water, I want you to think about flour and water.  If you have ever made gravy or a sauce (or watched someone make it) you most likely took a container, putting water in and then scooping flour on top.  Did you pour it immediately into the meat drippings for your gravy?  No.  You closed the container and shook it vigorously until the two ingredients were now blended and in this new state you added it to the pan and transformed the drippings into ...  tada!... gravy! Now convert this analogy into our spiritual life.

The water represents our human state, our unbelief, before we accepted Christ.  The flour represents our spirit that is a new creation through our acceptance of Jesus Christ's sacrifice for us.  Initially the flour is sitting there on top of the water, our belief is sitting on top of our unbelief, until we take action to begin walking out our new faith - that is the shaking action. The more intentional and consistently you "shake things up" the smoother this blend becomes.  But here is the powerful part - once blended you begin to add it to something (the drippings!) to transform that into something new.  As believers we become a catalyst for change and transformation in the matters of our lives, those of our families and friends, our workplaces, our social circles - anywhere God chooses to pour us out and we choose to obey Him.

The analogy continues.  Imagine that you confess believing but you continue to embrace old ways of thinking and living.  No shaking.  The flour is sitting on top of the water - the belief is sitting on top of the belief.  Now you decide to "pour out" into a situation.  Visualize pouring unmixed flour and water into those drippings.  Very lumpy gravy!  Eventually you may be able to get most of those flour lumps out, but it will take a great deal more work than it would have if you had first blended the flour and water.  So it is with our belief and unbelief.  Our power to transform is hindered by the co-existence of unbelief with our belief.  So what does that really look like?

We pray seeking God's intervention in the circumstances of our lives, but in the deep recesses of our souls (mind, will and emotions) we feel that He probably won't really move mountains for us.  In fact in the midst of our prayer we limit the outcomes of the prayer itself by speaking in very general terms.  After all if we aren't specific then we can't be disappointed when God doesn't manifest Himself.  Right?  This is where our unbelief has failed to blend with our belief to transform us into catalytic agents.  We are to be agents of change in this world - that is why we were given the power and authority of Holy Spirit. 

One more aspect I want you to consider.  When I am making gravy there are times that the consistency is not right yet.  So I have to add more of my "catalyst" - the thickening agent.  Throughout our lives, we will need to add "more" of this "belief substance" into situations.  This is where our humanity is ever present in our lives.  When we accepted Christ it was not a once and done event concerning our spiritual growth.  It is a continual process.  Our confession was only the first step which took us through the doorway.  We have to continue to blend our belief with our unbelief.  Different situations will arise that will challenge our belief and uncover a little unbelief.  Our  responsibility is to continually shake up these two so that they stay blended and will continue to have a transformational impact on those around us.

I challenge each of you to recognize those areas of your life in which unbelief may still linger and "vigorously shake"!  Embrace your walk in all of its aspects recognizing that we not only have a mandate to change, we have the privilege of ushering in change into the lives of those around us.  Go forth, my brothers and sisters, and make wonderful gravy!!!

Memories, Forgiveness and Healing

I mentioned in my last blog (yes, I realize that it was a few weeks ago, but I am really trying to embrace this new lifestyle of not being driven every minute of every day) that I have been reading some fiction books this summer.  I am learning how to take each day as a unique opportunity to live fully yet in a relaxed manner.  Being still and quiet really does enable one to hear more clearly.  It is amazing how much noise life makes.  In the process of reading books by a variety of authors, I have discovered a recurring theme.  As the title of today's blog indicates, a weaving of these three strands runs through most of our lives.  It certainly has in the characters about whom I have been reading for the past couple of months.

All of us have memories and for many of us, those memories are tinted by the color of hurt - either hurt we have experienced or hurt we have caused.  When hurt has occurred, offense will often result.  Offense will give root to bitterness and thus we have a damaged heart (i.e. soul) that is in need of healing.  Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our personal hurt that we fail to see the ramifications on those around us.  We believe that we live in a silo in which everything goes vertically within us and never travels horizontally to impact others.  But it does, whether we want it to or not.

Last night during our Ladies' Bible Study we had occasion to discuss this and talked about the difference between God's memory of our sin and our own.  Hebrews 8:12 "And I will forgive their wrongdoings, and I will never again remember their sins."  Many of us have a vivid recollection of our wrongdoings and they often haunt us.  Think about a white board - the kind that you use special markers with which to write on it.  If you only erase it with the felt eraser, there are shadows left on the board of the image you had placed there.  When you use the spray cleaner however and wipe it clean, the board looks as good as new.  That is us.  If we just try to erase the wrongdoing without going to God in repentance, then the shadows will remain,  but if the blood of Jesus is sprayed on the wrongdoing, it is a new thing.  2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

 

For many of us, we have gone to the Lord with a repentant spirit, yet the memories still linger.  Sometimes, we have more work to do then simply spraying the blood of Jesus over that past.  Sometimes we have forgiveness and healing that needs to be applied to this area of our lives.  I know for myself that this is indeed the process through which I must travel in order to render powerless those memories.  Memories are often etched into our brain cells - literally.  God can miraculously erase memories from our brains and He has done that multiple times for individuals who experienced trauma.  For most of us though, the memories hang around.  Our focus need not be trying to erase them completely from our brain, but rather rendering them powerless in reactivating the pain originally caused.  We need to walk through the forgiveness and healing process in order to no longer react  and allow those reactions to drive decisions. 

When I discuss forgiveness with someone I describe it as a 2 way highway.  Forgiveness must both go out to others but also must flow back to oneself.  Sometimes it is easier to forgive someone who has hurt you than to forgive yourself for causing a painful situation.  I personally get this one knowing how long it took me to forgive myself for an abortion that God forgave 30 years earlier.   My lack of self-forgiveness created a power source for that memory to still drive me in many areas of my life.  I continued to "power up" that energy source instead of shutting it down and rendering it ineffective.  Please do not misunderstand - there is a difference between allowing memories and their pain to drive you and using memories and past experiences to enhance your calling from God on your life.

I firmly believe Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  I know without a shadow of doubt that God will use EVERYTHING in my life to move me forward into my calling.  But if I don't surrender those memories to Him for Him to use according to His purposes, then I chance allowing the power of those memories to take me off course, like a car that hits a patch of ice and suddenly is propelled in its own power without direction.  By surrendering myself to Him through repentance and forgiveness, then I can move into the healing that will "power down" that energy source and use it as generic fuel for God's fire.

Take a little time to explore your own memory bank and ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you which memories may still be running under their own power; which memories still cause a reaction either internally or externally.  When you over-react to something ask Holy Spirit to show you why.  Where is the root that caused the response from you?  Once revealed, then ask Holy Spirit to show you if there is forgiveness and healing needed.  He is faithful to walk you through this process.  His desire which is in fact the desire of the complete Trinity is to see you walking in freedom and operating under the power of the life-giving Spirit.  Romans 8:1-2 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.  For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death.  Choose forgiveness, choose healing, choose freedom!

Achieving Balance

In a few months I will celebrate my 59th birthday.  One would think that in the span of that many years, I would have gained wisdom about living.  The challenge is that the internal battle that rages within can create barriers to the impartation of wisdom, or more specifically to the implementation of what the wisdom is telling us.  Although I have recognized for several years the imbalance that my inner battle has caused, dis-empowering it and releasing it has been another story.  Perhaps you can relate to my struggle.  If not personally then chances are that there is someone in your life that can.
 

First I recognize that the roots of this battle go way back to my childhood - the need to please, the need to be perfect, the need to excel at whatever I do.  Simply being "good" was not enough.  I had to be great.  That message was being received by me from a very influential source in my life, my dad.  I understand more than I ever have before that this was done through his own understanding of his role as my dad - to propel me into the maximum of my abilities, to achieve all of which I was capable.  With fair certainty I assume that this was how he was raised and what he understood.  There is forgiveness and compassion in that comprehension on my part.  However, even with that understanding, it is still difficult to release a way of life that has been mine for over half a century.  (Goodness, that is a long time!)
 

Recently I have written a few posts that deal with several of these issues.  I am working through my life-long roots that have resulted in my living a driven life.  The complication is that so many well-known Christian writers have made being driven for the Lord an essential component to living a kingdom-focused life.  When someone like myself hears those messages, it becomes justification to continue to drive oneself unrelentingly.  I must be Driven by Eternity (John Bevere) or live a Purpose Driven Life (Rick Warren).  I must live with audacious faith (Sun Stand Still Steven Furtick) accomplishing the impossible.  All of these messages feed the imbalance that has ruled me all of my life.  I am not saying that these messages are not powerful and important; I am saying that they must be received with balance and discernment.  That is difficult for someone who lives life with achievement as the measuring stick.
 

The crucial question is what does the Lord say about these things in the Word?  Consider Psalm 127:1-2  A song for the ascent to Jerusalem. A psalm of Solomon. Unless the LORD builds a house, the work of the builders is useless. Unless the LORD protects a city, guarding it with sentries will do no good.  It is useless for you to work so hard from early morning until late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones.  This is only one reference but for me it is so powerful.  Unless the Lord is directing me to do what I am doing, then my efforts are in vain.  Catch that third sentence?  It is USELESS to work so hard.  Ouch!  You mean, Lord, not by my efforts?  How about confirmation from Zechariah 4:6 Then he said to me, "This is what the LORD says to Zerubbabel: It is not by force nor by strength, but by my Spirit, says the LORD Almighty.  Then of course there is that concluding phrase in the psalm quoted above about rest.  Oh, You mean I am supposed to rest, Lord?
 

If I were not to search anywhere else in the Word, these few verses give me a powerful insight into how the Lord wishes me to live life, and I have to be honest, I have not been the most obedient of followers.  I have the mantra that if you try harder, surely it will pay off.  Yet the Lord has been telling me for over 5 years now, that He doesn't give grades.  I have lived with the self- inflicted expectation that A+ performance is all that is acceptable.  I judged myself even when there was no one else around to judge me.  I was (and still am at times) highly self-critical.  Unfortunately there is an underlying influence of that level of self-judgment: one comes to expect others to live up to that same level of excellence.  Guess what?  That is not how mankind operates.  Really, God?  Yes, Janice.
 

So here I am in the summer of my 59th year, evaluating my attitudes about life and the imbalance that I have created.  Yes, I know that others have contributed to my deep roots, but ultimately the responsibility is mine to walk in a way that honors my Lord.  That means that I really need to understand what honors Him and what does not.  My trying to accomplish everything that is barely within my reach is not honoring Him.  That attitude essentially demonstrates that I am trying to maintain an image predicated upon what others think about me.  I know in my deepest know-er that all that matters is what my Lord thinks about me.  Walking in that knowledge though is going to take some changing.
 

Where does one start?  For me, it is allowing myself the time to do something that I enjoy that does not benefit anyone else or even for that matter the kingdom.  I hope that doesn't sound selfish to you.  It has to me for decades.  I am coming to understand though that if I am stressed to the max and subsequently very "empty" then I am of limited use to anyone, especially to my Lord.  This may sound trivial to you, but I have allowed myself to read some fiction books this summer.  I am selective, but I have come to understand that this allows me to come to the work that I do for the kingdom with a more relaxed attitude which actually enables me to hear His voice more clearly.  I don't feel that I have to make every minute of the day productive.  That has been a struggle for a variety of reasons, but one is guilt that my husband works very hard every day at a very stressful job.  I get to sit at my computer taking care of business (home, church, my own ministry) without anyone making demands on me. 
 

In addition, I recognize that God has blessed me with a most extraordinary partner in life.  How ungrateful of me to not take time to enjoy this gift that I have been given.  So now we are taking time to get away and are kayaking and camping.  The time in my kayak has been so refreshing.  I am excited about getting in it more.  There is no "purpose" other than enjoying God's most marvelous creation and the company of my precious husband, alone time to nurture our gift.  Yet I can see His purpose in all of this.  He is drawing me into more intimacy with Him and a growing dependence on His strength and not mine.  These may seem like small changes to you, insignificant at best, but to me they are huge.
Whether this message is for you or someone that you know, I pray that you will receive His calling to go deeper and release all of the worldly affairs that pull you away from Him.  He does promise rest; He does promise direction.  I will close with my life verse:  Proverbs 3:5-6 Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.  Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.   Shalom

The Impossible Kind of Faith

We are in a season in which we are continuously being presented with opportunities to step out in that kind of faith that believes for the impossible.  I am heartsick, yet simultaneously encouraged, by the number of people in my life who are facing monumental situations.  That may seem like a contradiction to you, but I believe that when we are being stretched, God is pursuing us with more intensity than before.  He is the one stretching us, allowing whatever circumstances in our lives, so that we will draw closer to Him.  We must die to ourselves if we truly desire to have more of Him.  What does this look like in our daily lives?

Have you ever been caught off guard by something that came out of left field, catching you totally unprepared?  Or perhaps you have been caught in a continuous onslaught of one event after another, prohibiting you from even catching your "breath".  Lately, I am witnessing this happening to many people about whom I care deeply.  Interestingly though at this same time, I am hearing confirming words from multiple directions about faith in impossible situations.  There are no coincidences in this world - only God-incidences.  He wants me as well as others to grasp just what faith is all about - especially the God size faith that is required if we are going to truly follow Him.

Today I read in the final chapter of John about one of Jesus' last appearances to His disciples after the resurrection.  It takes place on the beach while some of them have gone fishing.  Have you ever thought about this scenario?  They have lost their best friend, their mentor, their Messiah and they go fishing.  In the midst of crisis, what brings you comfort?  For many of us it is returning to routine, finding the normal in the midst of the chaos of life.  These fellows went back to the water, back to the routine of fishing during which they would be busy with routine tasks and not have to think about all that had just transpired.  They could barely grasp it anyway.  Fishing they could understand.  Then Jesus shows up unrecognizable and suggests a shift in where they throw their net.  The result? John 21:6 Then he said,  "Throw out your net on the right-hand side of the boat, and you'll get plenty of fish! "    So they did, and they couldn't draw in the net because there were so many fish in it...... 11 So Simon Peter went aboard and dragged the net to the shore. There were 153 large fish, and yet the net hadn't torn. 

I love studying the detail in the Word, yet when I researched the 153, it is simply stated that there is no symbolism to the 153.  Of course we can always try to create something out of nothing, but then we are usually working out of our flesh and not revelation.  However, I believe that every word of the Bible is Holy Spirit inspired, so why the number 153?  I believe there are several possible explanations.  One could be that an exact number gives credibility to the eye witness account.  How would anyone know the exact number of fish in the net unless they were there?  But in alignment with our discussion today, I think that the number demonstrates just how big God is when we act on faith.  If you have ever gone fishing, then you can appreciate 153 large fish is an incredible catch, especially when you have had empty nets for hours.  The clincher though comes a little later in the chapter when Jesus says in John 21:18-19  The truth is, when you were young, you were able to do as you liked and go wherever you wanted to. But when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will direct you and take you where you don't want to go." 19 Jesus said this to let him know what kind of death he would die to glorify God. Then Jesus told him,  "Follow me."

Follow Me.  No matter what the cost.  No matter what you want to do.  No matter what your thoughts on the matter are.  Just follow Me.  Matthew 10:38 If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. That is pretty cut and dried.  Truly following Him however requires that impossible kind of faith.  It requires us to believe that no matter what we see happening in the natural, we know He is in control and He will ultimately win.  His will will be done.  If we believe that then we also believe all of His promises in the Word about what His heart desires for us.  Again, I ask the question: what does this look like in our daily walk?

I recently read a wonderful depiction of what this kind of faith looks like.  Steven Furtick in his book Sun Stand Still talks about helping his young son jump waves in the ocean.  Do you remember doing this either a as kid or with your kids?  Holding their arms high in the sky and lifting them over the crashing wave just as it hits them.  He likens this to what we must do as follows of Christ.  First we must understand that it is not through our own power that we are "jumping the waves" but rather through the strength and power of the One holding our hands (which we have lifted high to Him).  Secondly we must TRUST that He is going to lift us above the wave and not allow us to drown.  Are we going to get wet?  Of course!  Will we feel the punch of the wave on our lower body?  Of course!  Will we be keenly aware that a massive wave went below us and not over us?  How could we not?  The key is that we should be focusing on the One Who is lifting us instead of the wave that went beneath us.  Too many of us are focusing on the waves and not the "Lifter".  Just a reminder, that on which we think the most is actually the lord of our lives.  Which is it going to be?  Our circumstances or our rescuer?

You may be in the midst of overwhelming circumstances right now.  You may not be able to see how in the world this is ever going to be resolved in a way that is acceptable in your mind.  This is when God wants us to demonstrate impossible faith.  This is when He is saying, Do you trust Me with everything?  We must let go and let God handle the situation.  Isaiah 55:9 For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts. As my pastor continually reminds us, God is God and we are not.  Although the wave is frightening as it is coming at you, the exhilaration of its passing beneath you is so much greater.  You may feel as if it is all in slow motion and the experience will never be over, but I promise you, it will and He is faithful to not let His children drown.  Trust Him.

 

Sand through His Fingers

Do you remember playing in the sand as a kid - especially at the beach?  I spent many summers in the sand of the beaches of the Eastern Shore of Maryland.  My grandparents lived only 30 minutes from Ocean City and Assateague.  One of my favorite activities was scooping up handfuls of sand, hoping to find a sand crab in my palm after the sand sifted away.  Recently the Lord gave me a vision that involved that very activity, only it was His rather large hand outstretched over the sand with me standing beneath it.  Before you think I am going weird on you, read on. 

Most of us have by now embraced the belief that God does not cause all things to happen, but rather often allows them to happen in our lives.  Imagine your life.  Imagine that the sand represents the myriad of things that are coming your way.  God has Romans 8:28 in mind: And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  He is considering how each event, interaction or word spoken will benefit you in the plans He has for your life.  Selectively He allows some of the sand to sift through His fingers and "fall" on you.  Remember that sand is an abrasive substance.  Seashells continually rubbed by sand become smooth and lose their rough edges.  Similarly those "sandy" occurrences in your life are meant to soften those rough protrusions in your spirit.  After enough encounters with the sands of life, your image begins to alter and surprise, you can become more Christ-like.  But there is more.

Just like the sand crab I was trying to capture as a child, there are events, interactions and words in our life that God chooses to capture because they will not contribute to His plan for you.  After God gave me this vision, I began to vividly recall specific instances in my life when it was clear He hung onto a "sand crab".  I do not know about you, but there have been times in my life when I placed myself at the wrong place and at the wrong time.  The disaster that could have - no, let's say, should have - befallen me did not occur.  I escaped unscathed, relatively speaking.  Now in the wisdom of my later years, I can look back and say, "Good grief!  How stupid was that move!!!"  Yet by a clearly miraculous intervention, I was protected.  Folks, I did not even have a personal relationship with the Lord then.

All of this begins with the basic premise, the critical belief, that God loves us.  He loves us so much that:

• Luke 12:7 And the very hairs on your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are more valuable to him than a whole flock of sparrows.
• Psalm 139:2 You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my every thought when far away.
• Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the LORD.  "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
• John 3:16 For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. 

Get the idea?  First and foremost we must believe the truth that He loves us.  Otherwise we will start listening to the lies of the great deceiver who would have us believe otherwise, who would have us believe that our Lord is intentionally harming us, that He is a control freak who simply likes to wield His power.  Sounds like a self description of the enemy, the one who comes to steal, kill and destroy.

Believing that God loves us more than we can imagine means that we must trust Him with our lives and our hearts.  We must trust that even while we cannot see the light in the midst of the storms, the Son is indeed shining behind the storm clouds.  The storm will pass and when it finally does, there will be sun, fresh air and sometimes even a surprise rainbow.  We have to trust that even when we feel as if He is not there, He is.  We have to trust that ultimately He works this out not only to our own benefit, but to that of the kingdom as well.  We also need to trust that earthly rewards are not the preeminent thought in His mind, rather eternal rewards are.

So let's go back to the sand and the hand.  Consider the weight with which God considers each moment of your life (reread the scriptures above if necessary).  Ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you the sand crabs that God held onto and did not let travel through His fingers.  Ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you how the "sand" that was allowed to fall upon you actually shaped your current image.  More importantly ask Him to reveal to you His heart for what you look like in His eyes and His desire for the "completed work".  Too many of us focus on the sand instead of the process.  Personally, I am so grateful for the process and I am also grateful for each grain of sand, as painful as many of them were.  I am excited about how far I have come in this refining process, but I am even more excited about the future and what He is going to yet accomplish with me.  My prayer is that you will embrace a new attitude for the events of your life and embrace the process anew.  Shalom!

Inadequacy

Oh the power of words in our lives!  Recently I have come to recognize that there is a deep root in my life that like ivy keeps springing up when I thought I had ripped it out.  Have you ever tried to get rid of English ivy in your yard?  It is a constant battle against the deep roots that resist death.  I vividly recall such a battle in my first home here in Atlanta.  My tiny backyard was literally covered - ground and fence - with this green stuff.  Thankfully it wasn't kudzu, but definitely a huge challenge.  I tore vine after vine off the fence, pulled them up from the ground, then went behind the fence to clear a barrier of about 2 feet.  However, if I did not continually monitor that space, the vines came creeping back. 

Realistically this is exactly how some of us are in our spiritual walks.  We believe that we have eradicated something from our lives only to discover that the root is still there and consequently new growth starts erupting when we least expect it.  We are currently walking through a powerful teaching at church authored by Mark and Patti Virkler titled Prayers that Heal the Heart.  I highly recommend this for everyone because most of us have yet to fully grasp and obtain the total freedom that Jesus promises us.  There are so many visuals for this scenario to depict our struggle.  In ministering to others, the Lord gave me two that I will share in case it will trigger recognition for some of you.

First picture a cage - like a jail cell if you will.  You are inside that cell holding your heart in your hands.  The bars are the various lies the enemy has used to keep you ensnared.   God beckons to you from outside the cell and tells you to come forward.  Your response, "I can't the cell is locked."  God's response, "No, it isn't.  Go to the door and push."  With trepidation, you move forward and gently push against the cell door.  With great surprise you realize it is moving.  Encouraged you push a little harder and it swings wide open.  Amazed you slowly walk out of the cell, heart still in your hands.  God says, "Come to me, my chosen one, and give me your heart, and by the way, slam that door shut.  You will not be walking back into that again."

Second picture a yard with a stake in the ground and a worn circle around it.  Picture a chain that appears to be attached to the stake and the other end attached to a collar around your neck.  The rut in the circle is deep because of the constant circling around the stake.  There is no grass inside the circle because of the constant dragging of the chain on the ground.  God calls to you to come away from the stake.  Your response, "I can't.  My collar is attached to the stake by this chain."  God's response, "No, it isn't.  Walk away, out of the ruts that you have been traveling all of your life."  You feel the weight of the chain attached to your collar.  Logically you believe that it will yank you back when you try to walk away.  You hesitate.  God speaks again, "Do you trust me?  Do you believe in me?  Do you not know that I love you?  What is holding you back?"  Good question.  What do you have to lose?  Very tentatively you begin to move, anticipating that yank on your neck and the accompanying jolt that will come through your body.  But the love of God is pulling you like a magnet.  So you take a step, then a second.  You climb out of the rut, almost in disbelief.  Just beyond the worn circle is soft, fresh green grass.  The dust and dirt are behind you and you resist the urge to look back.  The glory of God is so strong in front of you that its warmth draws you closer and closer.

Do either of these word pictures resonate with you?  Each of us most likely has some form of imprisonment created by the lies of the enemy.  Whatever it is, God has opened the door to freedom to give each of us the opportunity to walk in complete freedom if we will just seize it.  The challenge for many of us though is that we have begun to walk in freedom and then that master of deception begins his seductive weaving of lies to once again limit us.  John 8:32  "And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."  Freedom is rooted in truth.  Therefore the opposite is true: lies will hold us captive.

One of the roots with which I am dealing is a lie of inadequacy.  The roots are deep born out of generational curses and sins, ungodly soul ties, negative expectations, and more.  This is what I am learning through this study with Mark Virkler.  The powerful truth is that these sources of deception are now being uncovered and I am walking away from them.  How can I truly operate in the full power of Holy Spirit if I allow the enemy access to my soul?  I know that I have come a long way from the beginning point of this journey, but I am not finished yet.  Wisdom tells me that I must guard my heart.  Proverbs 4:23 Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do.  Because I am a child of God, I am chosen, I am therefore a target of darkness to attempt to thwart all that God has for me.  However, I know and he knows that I know that he is defeated and all power through Holy Spirit through the authority given to me by Christ is mine to use for the achievement of God's purposes for his kingdom.  

I fully recognize that inadequacy is just one area of which I want to be totally free.  I am going to be very deliberate about moving through each area that Holy Spirit reveals to me.  I want my heart to be free of darkness.  All of the "rooms of my heart" will be open with light and fresh "air" (remember what Holy Spirit's Hebrew name means?  In the Tanakh, the word ruach generally means wind, breath, mind, spirit. In a living creature (nephesh chayah), the ruach is the breath, whether of animals (Gen 7:15; Psa 104:25, 29) or mankind (Isa 42:5; Ezek 37:5). God is the creator of ruach: "The ruach of God (from God) is in my nostrils" (Job 27:3)  From the website: www.hebrew4christians.com)

It is a beautiful spring day in Atlanta.  It has been all week long with mild temperatures.  I have opened the windows of our home and allowed wonderful fresh air to flow through the whole house day and night.  How wonderfully symbolic for what God wants to do in my life.  I encourage each of you to discover what rooms of your heart house have been locked and shut.  Fling them open now and enjoy the fullness of all that God has for you!