Disappointment versus Displeasure

As a daughter, the hardest words to hear from a parent are, "I am really disappointed in you."  When you are performance oriented and achievement oriented, those words scream out - "Failure!"  Seeking the approval of the one you are trying so hard to impress is a powerful need that often cultivates poor decisions and poor self esteem.  Yet for many of us, it is a driving need that frames our lives.  That is truly one of the challenges that I have had to overcome in maturing in my walk with the Lord.  However, I did not realize that in spite of all of the healing that He has accomplished in my life, there was still this nagging inner voice that echoed in the background.  That little voice kept telling me that there were many times when I had disappointed Abba Father, my Almighty God.   My heart broke each time I thought about that.  However, I am learning that my God is not about heart break, but heart wholeness.  

This past weekend, the Lord gave me a wonderful healing revelation that I am sharing with you today.  As I expressed to friends that God's disappointment in me kept me on the straight path, God was listening and waited until the most opportune moment to correct my thinking.  Imagine my delight and relief when He said to me, "Janice, I am not disappointed in you.  How can I be disappointed in you when I dance over you and I sing over you?"  He went on to explain to me that the disappointing spirit had come from my earthly father, not Him, and that He delights in me.  Wow, Abba delights in me, even though I have messed up in the past and will still mess up.  He delights in me.

I have to be honest with you though.  I wrestled with the concept of God not being upset when I make the wrong choices.  I kept thinking how could He not be disappointed in me?  Then as usual Holy Spirit began instructing me.  Disappoint in some form only occurs three times in the Word.  In two instances, it references the disappointment of evil in not getting what it wants.  In the third, it references purposes being disappointed without the counsel of wisdom.  Not once does God say He is disappointed.  However, displeasure in some form appears 35 times.  What is the difference?

One definition of disappointment is "failure of an expectation".  A definition of displeasure is "dissatisfaction".  When we consider disappointment there is a sense of condemnation.  I can almost feel eyes looking down on me as I shrink in the mere presence of the one I disappointed.  If you have never experienced this sensation, I am glad for you; it is not pleasant.  By the same token, causing someone displeasure isn't fun either, but at least in the perspective that I have, there is not condemnation in displeasure.  Sadness yes, because pleasing the Lord should be our focus - not because we fear condemnation, but because we love Him and delight in pleasing Him.

Please in some form occurs a total of 184 times in the Word.  What a significant difference from the negative we have been discussing thus far.  If we are seeking the pleasure of the Lord, than the opposite of that is displeasure, not disappointment.  Interestingly enough, when we try to process how the Lord views our lives, we must remember that He created us, He knows us, He knows the choices we can make under our free will.  He will not control us and attempt to make us do what is pleasing to Him.  Rather He delights when we make the right choices on our own because we love Him and seek to delight Him.  When we make a mistake and make that bad choice, He does not give up on us.  He may lovingly discipline us to encourage us to make a better choice the next time around, but He does not condemn us and belittle us.  Remember, we are made in His image, and He gave His son so that we could be reconciled with Him.  Does that sound like someone who wants to make us feel horrible about ourselves?   No, we know from where that spirit hails and it isn't from God. Psalm 5:4  You are not a God that takes pleasure in evil; with you the wicked cannot dwell.  God is good and surrounds Himself with goodness, including His precious children whom He loves even though we mess up sometimes.

Psalm 147:11  The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love.  Revelation 4:11  Thou are worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created.  The goodness of God is an overwhelming characteristic and we should never take that for granted.  We must remember that the enemy comes to steal, kill and destroy.  Destroying our self esteem and discouraging us from growing is not an act of God.  God wants us to get back up when we fall down and to try again.  Remember Jesus told Peter that he should forgive seventy times seven.  Sounds like God gives us multiple chances.  I know that this revelation from Him this weekend has enabled me to leave my past in the past and look forward to my future discerning how best I can delight my Lord.  My prayer is that if you or someone you know struggles with "disappointment" from God or others in your life, this will help you shift your perspective and not let those sentiments destroy you any longer.