The Difference of One Letter

Reflecting on the powerful transformation that God has done in me over the past eight years since I moved to Georgia, I realized that it could be summed up in one simple expression.  By changing one letter in one word, the drastic shift is described:  God changed my "n" to a "v" and I went from lonely to lovely.  However the life alteration is so much deeper.

I have been blessed to minister to many women over these past years, especially since coming to Georgia.  I have heard so many desperate cries to somehow escape the loneliness that they are experiencing.  I understand that feeling, but I also know that there is an answer and it does not lie in human companionship.  I know firsthand.  I remember vividly what it was like to arrive in a brand new city, in a new state and not know a single person.  I know what it feels like to walk into a church and not feel connected or as if anyone really cares about you.  I know how deeply depressing it is to be stuck in a black hole and realize that no one has even paid attention that you have "been missing in action."

Yet I also know the other side.  I know how it feels to be pursued by my lover God.  I know how exciting it can be to finally walk out of an office and eagerly anticipate quiet time at home with my Lord.  I know what His touch is like when I needed it.  I know what His comfort is like when that too was needed.  I learned how to rest in His Shalom.  I learned over time that lovely is how He sees me.  What happened between these two stages? 

It is a process.  It does not happen magically overnight.  So often we have been caught in a vortex of negative emotions and the centrifugal force of those emotions is so strong that we do not believe for one moment that we will ever pull out of it.  But God knows differently.  He knew us from the foundation of time and watched sadly as we became mired in those things that seek to destroy us.  

One of the most powerful forces that we experience is human love or more often the lack or the distortion of human love.  Ever heard the expression, "Oh the things we do for love"?  My personal experience is co-dependency that masked itself as love.  My brokenness, my lack of self esteem, my desperate need for approval and acceptance distorted how I viewed and how I felt about love.  My internal struggle often made me feel as if it was me against the world.  What can I do to finally fit in?  What can I do to make sure that I am not alone in this world?  What can I do to make someone else want to spend their life with me?  Notice all of the I's in those sentences?  One of the first things that I learned in overcoming my co-dependency was that I cannot make anyone do anything particularly love me.  So in the isolation of co-dependency, one feels totally alone even in the midst of a crowd, or in the middle of family.

In loneliness one feels desperate for love.  Sad, isn't it?  The one thing that we want most seems to move further away the more we grasp for it.  But this is when transformation can begin.  When we realize that we can't do this for ourselves and in desperation turn to God, He is standing there saying, "I have been waiting for you to come to me.  I am the source of perfect love for you.  You no longer have to strive because you cannot earn my love.  It is freely given to you.  Just reach out to me and accept it."  After a lifetime of trying to earn people's love, it does take some adjustment to comprehend that God loves us because He is love.  But His love is a gift and we must choose to receive it.  We must choose Him over everything and everybody else in our lives.

When I opened my heart fully to the healing power of His love I began to see the subtle changes in my peace and my joy.  This is different than the salvation power of repentance.  The visual I use is that when we accept the Lord's gift of salvation it is like walking through a threshold.  Sadly many believers stop there, in the doorway and never venture into the "house" of God's love.  Can you imagine going to a party, walking in the front door and then standing there for the rest of the night with your coat on?  Ridiculous you say?  Why bother going in the first place?  Well that is exactly the question that I pose to you and all believers.  Why express repentance and take Jesus into your heart if you not going to develop a full relationship with Him?

Our incredible lover God is so excited about changing us from lonely to lovely, but we have to give Him access.  We have to walk fully into the room and engage in conversation with Him.  Isn't that what you do when someone has invited you into their home (and their hearts)?  You have to want to let Him transform you.  He is a gentleman and respects that wild thing called free will that He gave to us.  He will never force Himself upon us.  He wants us to choose freely to love Him and be loved by Him.  Once you make that choice and embark on engaging Him as you would any good host, you will be amazed with how He responds. 

Please do not let another day go by in which you or someone you care about chooses lonely over lovely.  Turn to Him with an eager expectant spirit and get ready to be amazed.  Exchange the fear of being alone for the joy of being loved.  John 4:16-17 We know how much God loves us, and we have put our trust in him.God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them. And as we live in God, our love grows more perfect.