Coloring Inside the Lines

You may not remember learning to color as a child, but if you have children or grandchildren, you can easily identify with the slow progression from scribbling to blobs of color to finally being able to color a picture outlined in the coloring book. Recently I have come to understand the parallel between coloring and living life. I do vividly recall how good it felt to finally produce a colored picture that was worthy of being viewed. I had learned how to color the outlines very boldly before filling in the spaces with lightened strokes. I had finally mastered the art of coloring inside the lines. How little I realized that this was a pattern I would call my own in living life.

The expectations that we perceive others having about us become the lines of our life pictures. As long as I know what those expectations are, I can live within the lines, not cause a disruption by venturing past those heavily outlined edges of my life/picture. The unfortunate aspect about living life that way is that we seldom know the reality of those expectations. Everything is distorted by our own perspectives. What I think I know about what is inside someone else's head is seldom what is really there. Yet I have set up the boundaries of my life based on those perceived lines.
I truly believed I had let go of all of those "performance" issues that have driven me all of my life.  However, a little conversation, a really little conversation, awakened me to the reality that there are still some roots there that I have not pulled up.  My guess is that for some of you, the same is true.  No matter how hard we try to let go and learn to go with the flow, there are often times aspects of our history that still linger.

What I now realize is that I am moving through daily life trying to stay one step ahead of what I think the people in my life are expecting me to do for them.  Notice the language there - the emphasis is on do.  It is very important to understand that these are not spoken "requests".  Rather, it is the underlying unspoken that I sense is driving me.  I have been an overachiever all of my life.  Perfection reigned supreme because that was how I grew up.  My life now should not be ruled by that principle because I am living in a different time and a different season, but there are little prickles that pop up and I now realize that deep in my subconscious I am thinking, "The lines just changed.  How am I supposed to stay in them now?"

I want you to think about this for a moment.  You have planned your day and are halfway through it when you get a phone call that indicates there has been a change that now impacts the second half of your day.  The mature thing is to adapt and move forward.  After all this is life and nothing is guaranteed to stay the same.  Instead there is that little sigh that escapes and you think, oh great.  Now what? 

The key that I am searching for is the one that unlocks my ability to be flexible and not be caught off guard by changes in my life.  I remember back in the days when I used to do seminars on time management.  I would tell people to plan for interruptions, put time in your schedule for the unexpected.  How quickly we forget our own advice. But this is not about time management.  This is about not experiencing a loss of control and a depreciation in your self esteem just because an outside event or person has changed your day, or even your life.  And that my friends is really what is happening in this scenario.  It is the belief that my inability to stay inside my predetermined lines of life with my crayon is a direct reflection on who I am and my self worth.

Ultimately what we all need to understand and to believe is that God loves us for who we are and not what we do.  I have to continually remind myself of this simple yet profoundly important fact.  In addition, the people that really matter in my life also love me for who I am and not what I do for them.  The sad thing for many of us is that we have bought into the lie that the opposite is true.  If we were to really look at our life and our relationships through God's eyes of transparency, we would realize that there are many many people in our lives who do indeed love us just because.  Let us embrace that and return the favor - love the people in your life for who they are and not what they do or do not do.  We would all be so much better off and so much more relaxed if we did.