Memories, Forgiveness and Healing

I mentioned in my last blog (yes, I realize that it was a few weeks ago, but I am really trying to embrace this new lifestyle of not being driven every minute of every day) that I have been reading some fiction books this summer.  I am learning how to take each day as a unique opportunity to live fully yet in a relaxed manner.  Being still and quiet really does enable one to hear more clearly.  It is amazing how much noise life makes.  In the process of reading books by a variety of authors, I have discovered a recurring theme.  As the title of today's blog indicates, a weaving of these three strands runs through most of our lives.  It certainly has in the characters about whom I have been reading for the past couple of months.

All of us have memories and for many of us, those memories are tinted by the color of hurt - either hurt we have experienced or hurt we have caused.  When hurt has occurred, offense will often result.  Offense will give root to bitterness and thus we have a damaged heart (i.e. soul) that is in need of healing.  Sometimes we are so wrapped up in our personal hurt that we fail to see the ramifications on those around us.  We believe that we live in a silo in which everything goes vertically within us and never travels horizontally to impact others.  But it does, whether we want it to or not.

Last night during our Ladies' Bible Study we had occasion to discuss this and talked about the difference between God's memory of our sin and our own.  Hebrews 8:12 "And I will forgive their wrongdoings, and I will never again remember their sins."  Many of us have a vivid recollection of our wrongdoings and they often haunt us.  Think about a white board - the kind that you use special markers with which to write on it.  If you only erase it with the felt eraser, there are shadows left on the board of the image you had placed there.  When you use the spray cleaner however and wipe it clean, the board looks as good as new.  That is us.  If we just try to erase the wrongdoing without going to God in repentance, then the shadows will remain,  but if the blood of Jesus is sprayed on the wrongdoing, it is a new thing.  2 Corinthians 5:17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!

 

For many of us, we have gone to the Lord with a repentant spirit, yet the memories still linger.  Sometimes, we have more work to do then simply spraying the blood of Jesus over that past.  Sometimes we have forgiveness and healing that needs to be applied to this area of our lives.  I know for myself that this is indeed the process through which I must travel in order to render powerless those memories.  Memories are often etched into our brain cells - literally.  God can miraculously erase memories from our brains and He has done that multiple times for individuals who experienced trauma.  For most of us though, the memories hang around.  Our focus need not be trying to erase them completely from our brain, but rather rendering them powerless in reactivating the pain originally caused.  We need to walk through the forgiveness and healing process in order to no longer react  and allow those reactions to drive decisions. 

When I discuss forgiveness with someone I describe it as a 2 way highway.  Forgiveness must both go out to others but also must flow back to oneself.  Sometimes it is easier to forgive someone who has hurt you than to forgive yourself for causing a painful situation.  I personally get this one knowing how long it took me to forgive myself for an abortion that God forgave 30 years earlier.   My lack of self-forgiveness created a power source for that memory to still drive me in many areas of my life.  I continued to "power up" that energy source instead of shutting it down and rendering it ineffective.  Please do not misunderstand - there is a difference between allowing memories and their pain to drive you and using memories and past experiences to enhance your calling from God on your life.

I firmly believe Romans 8:28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.  I know without a shadow of doubt that God will use EVERYTHING in my life to move me forward into my calling.  But if I don't surrender those memories to Him for Him to use according to His purposes, then I chance allowing the power of those memories to take me off course, like a car that hits a patch of ice and suddenly is propelled in its own power without direction.  By surrendering myself to Him through repentance and forgiveness, then I can move into the healing that will "power down" that energy source and use it as generic fuel for God's fire.

Take a little time to explore your own memory bank and ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you which memories may still be running under their own power; which memories still cause a reaction either internally or externally.  When you over-react to something ask Holy Spirit to show you why.  Where is the root that caused the response from you?  Once revealed, then ask Holy Spirit to show you if there is forgiveness and healing needed.  He is faithful to walk you through this process.  His desire which is in fact the desire of the complete Trinity is to see you walking in freedom and operating under the power of the life-giving Spirit.  Romans 8:1-2 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus.  For the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you through Christ Jesus from the power of sin that leads to death.  Choose forgiveness, choose healing, choose freedom!