To Be Like Paul

Have you ever been in a season in which the reflection in the mirror you hold is suddenly frighteningly clear?  When every detail of who you are becomes vibrant in its detail?  I am facing that season and holding that mirror today.  Although the scripture tells us that we see in a mirror darkly, right now that mirror is far from dark.  It is like a make-up mirror surrounded by light bulbs so that every defect appears to be under a spotlight.  As I am sure you have surmised by now, I am not really pleased with what I am seeing.  Maybe a few of you out there can identify with me on this experience.  We know who we are supposed to be as followers of Christ, yet the knowledge seems as far from reality as the east is from the west.

I remember a number of years ago I was experiencing this same phenomena.  I shared with a dear friend how disappointed I was in what I was seeing as I examined myself in the spiritual mirror of my life.  She said something to me which startled me.  "You have such an intimate relationship with Him that the light dazzles you.  When you look away and at yourself, everything else seems gray by comparison." I have pondered this little nugget many times.  The closer we come to Him, the more brilliant His light is and the more clearly we can see ourselves.  When we do not have an intimate relationship with Him then life is full of shadows.  His light is in the distance and must contend with the obstacles that stand between Him and us.  Sometimes these obstacles actually block His light from even reaching us.  Consequently what little we see is not well defined. 

Ultimately the knowledge that we gain about ourselves and our flaws is meant to aid us in the transformation process of being more Christ-like.  When we recognize where we are missing the mark, we can seek His strength in changing that aspect of ourselves.  Nothing however can be accomplished in our own strength.  We are fallen creatures and even though we have accepted Christ and know that He exchanged His life for our sins, we still inhabit a fleshly body that has a soul and both are nowhere near where they will be once we are living in our glorified bodies.  So contend we must with the earthly pull on us.

It is far too easy to look at "major sins" and say, "Well I am not that bad."  God though does not count one sin worse than another.  Sin is sin and when we allow our flesh and soul to dictate how we are going to live, we are headed in the wrong direction.  Paul spent pages upon pages in admonishing the church to get it right.  He never held himself as better but rather used his own struggles as an example of what he was trying to communicate to these new believers.  Once we understand what God's purpose is for us here on earth, it should bolster our focus and our energy to walk in His will.  1 Corinthians 9:19 For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more.  Paul said in other words, I am no longer free to live my life however I want.  Instead I am living a life that is committed to winning the lost to Christ.  He lived a sacrificial life that put preaching the Good News first and foremost ~ above everything else.

What would happen in our world today if we approached life the way that Paul did?  I am not suggesting that we all give up everything that we have and do to go spread the good news.... or am I?  The world is in desperate shape and here in the United States God is revered less than just about any other place in the world.  We take Him and our salvation for granted.  We ask in disbelief, "You really don't expect me to step out boldly and risk ridicule and rejection?"  Isn't that what we are called to do?  Isn't that inseparably part of the great commission?

The statement I find myself making repeatedly to my Lord is empty me of me and fill me with You.  I don't want my life to be "about me" but rather about Him.  I am ashamed of the times that I have put thoughts about my well being ahead of thoughts about the kingdom.  I know how deeply I trust Him and how desperately I want Him to consume my life.  So I must make a deliberate decision to be available and open to His consuming glory.  I want to be a God pleaser not a people pleaser.  My heart's desire is to bring total joy and delight to my lover God in how I express my love for Him.  I want my life to reflect that I am His Beloved and He is mine.  I want a passion like Paul's and I am saying to my Lord, do with me whatever it takes to fill me with that all consuming passion.  I am Yours.