Have you ever been in a season in which the reflection in the mirror you hold is suddenly frighteningly clear? When every detail of who you are becomes vibrant in its detail? I am facing that season and holding that mirror today. Although the scripture tells us that we see in a mirror darkly, right now that mirror is far from dark. It is like a make-up mirror surrounded by light bulbs so that every defect appears to be under a spotlight. As I am sure you have surmised by now, I am not really pleased with what I am seeing. Maybe a few of you out there can identify with me on this experience. We know who we are supposed to be as followers of Christ, yet the knowledge seems as far from reality as the east is from the west.
I remember a number of years ago I was experiencing this same phenomena. I shared with a dear friend how disappointed I was in what I was seeing as I examined myself in the spiritual mirror of my life. She said something to me which startled me. "You have such an intimate relationship with Him that the light dazzles you. When you look away and at yourself, everything else seems gray by comparison." I have pondered this little nugget many times. The closer we come to Him, the more brilliant His light is and the more clearly we can see ourselves. When we do not have an intimate relationship with Him then life is full of shadows. His light is in the distance and must contend with the obstacles that stand between Him and us. Sometimes these obstacles actually block His light from even reaching us. Consequently what little we see is not well defined.
Ultimately the knowledge that we gain about ourselves and our flaws is meant to aid us in the transformation process of being more Christ-like. When we recognize where we are missing the mark, we can seek His strength in changing that aspect of ourselves. Nothing however can be accomplished in our own strength. We are fallen creatures and even though we have accepted Christ and know that He exchanged His life for our sins, we still inhabit a fleshly body that has a soul and both are nowhere near where they will be once we are living in our glorified bodies. So contend we must with the earthly pull on us.
It is far too easy to look at "major sins" and say, "Well I am not that bad." God though does not count one sin worse than another. Sin is sin and when we allow our flesh and soul to dictate how we are going to live, we are headed in the wrong direction. Paul spent pages upon pages in admonishing the church to get it right. He never held himself as better but rather used his own struggles as an example of what he was trying to communicate to these new believers. Once we understand what God's purpose is for us here on earth, it should bolster our focus and our energy to walk in His will. 1 Corinthians 9:19 For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win the more. Paul said in other words, I am no longer free to live my life however I want. Instead I am living a life that is committed to winning the lost to Christ. He lived a sacrificial life that put preaching the Good News first and foremost ~ above everything else.
What would happen in our world today if we approached life the way that Paul did? I am not suggesting that we all give up everything that we have and do to go spread the good news.... or am I? The world is in desperate shape and here in the United States God is revered less than just about any other place in the world. We take Him and our salvation for granted. We ask in disbelief, "You really don't expect me to step out boldly and risk ridicule and rejection?" Isn't that what we are called to do? Isn't that inseparably part of the great commission?
The statement I find myself making repeatedly to my Lord is empty me of me and fill me with You. I don't want my life to be "about me" but rather about Him. I am ashamed of the times that I have put thoughts about my well being ahead of thoughts about the kingdom. I know how deeply I trust Him and how desperately I want Him to consume my life. So I must make a deliberate decision to be available and open to His consuming glory. I want to be a God pleaser not a people pleaser. My heart's desire is to bring total joy and delight to my lover God in how I express my love for Him. I want my life to reflect that I am His Beloved and He is mine. I want a passion like Paul's and I am saying to my Lord, do with me whatever it takes to fill me with that all consuming passion. I am Yours.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Blue Skies
How often we have been in a series of rainy days here in Georgia these last few months. Praise the Lord it is a far different scenario than just a few years ago when drought was the topic of all conversations. However day after day of gray clouds overhead can be pretty depressing for a lot of folks. Then suddenly there is a glimpse of blue sky behind the clouds and although it is small, it is a sign of hope that the clouds will soon dissipate and the blue will be pervasive overhead. Today the Lord reminded me that He is exactly like that blue sky. The storms of life may be dominating our world, but He assures us that He is ever present behind the clouds. Even though we cannot see Him, He is there. Even though there may be hurricane winds blowing, He is there. A black tornado may be bearing down on us, but He is there. Our God who loves us beyond imagination is there.
Many of you may know that I write poetry and indeed have published a book with my photography and poetry. This morning as I caught a glimpse of blue sky peeking from in between the rain clouds, I thought, there is a poem here. The truth is though that I am so exhausted from battling the storms of these last few months that I did not have the energy to write the poem. Yet God put the beauty of that would-be poem in my spirit and gave me this indescribable sense of all that it would say. Maybe someday soon I will write that poem, but for now, I embrace His peace with the knowledge that He is there.
Yesterday evening after I had arrived home from an exhausting weekend, the skies opened up and it poured. I was so grateful that my husband and I were off the road and home. When the rain had stopped I was acutely aware that there was a change in the color outside. I was drawn outside in spite of the dampness and was thrilled to see a rainbow in the sky. Rainbows are significant to me because God uses them at crucial times in my life to communicate a message to me. For weeks when we have had this ongoing rain, there have been optimal times for rainbows yet they never appeared. I would search and search the sky in vain. No rainbows. Yet yesterday evening when one would have thought the circumstances not conducive to rainbows, there it was. God was romancing me, His Beloved, once again.
There are only two mentions of rainbows in the entire Bible. The first is in Genesis - this is the one everybody remembers. Genesis 9:13-17 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." So God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth." I am one of those living creatures on earth and my Lord has a covenant promise with me - one that He frequently affirms to me when I need it most.
The only other mention of rainbows in the Word comes in Revelation. How significant is that - the first and last books of the Bible? Revelation 4:2-3 Immediately I was in the Spirit; and behold, a throne set in heaven, and One sat on the throne. And He who sat there was like a jasper and a sardius stone in appearance; and there was a rainbow around the throne, in appearance like an emerald. The completion of His promises to us will show us a rainbow hovering around the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.
When I have been in the midst of total destruction by the storms of life, there were the rainbows. I remember one time in particular. I had just witnessed the real estate agent hammering the for sale sign into the ground of the home that I had shared with my ex-husband. I had no clue at the time where I was going, but just knew that the Lord had told me I was moving - out of state. Within one hour there was a rainbow in my backyard. His indescribable peace just flooded my spirit as well as my soul and body as I released all questions and doubts to Him. There have been many other rainbows, all significant for some reason. This is one way that He woos me and assures me. Your sign from Him however may be totally different. I assure you that there is a method He uses to communicate with you if you will just meditate on it for a while and seek His revelation to you.
Whatever signs God uses in your life, He does want us to remember that He is always there. He does not walk away from us, but we walk away from Him sometimes. The storms of life may be very distracting, but if we search diligently enough, we will see glimpses of spiritual blue sky. He never leaves us alone. He never forsakes us. Trust that the blue sky is always there, somewhere behind those stormy clouds of life.
Many of you may know that I write poetry and indeed have published a book with my photography and poetry. This morning as I caught a glimpse of blue sky peeking from in between the rain clouds, I thought, there is a poem here. The truth is though that I am so exhausted from battling the storms of these last few months that I did not have the energy to write the poem. Yet God put the beauty of that would-be poem in my spirit and gave me this indescribable sense of all that it would say. Maybe someday soon I will write that poem, but for now, I embrace His peace with the knowledge that He is there.
Yesterday evening after I had arrived home from an exhausting weekend, the skies opened up and it poured. I was so grateful that my husband and I were off the road and home. When the rain had stopped I was acutely aware that there was a change in the color outside. I was drawn outside in spite of the dampness and was thrilled to see a rainbow in the sky. Rainbows are significant to me because God uses them at crucial times in my life to communicate a message to me. For weeks when we have had this ongoing rain, there have been optimal times for rainbows yet they never appeared. I would search and search the sky in vain. No rainbows. Yet yesterday evening when one would have thought the circumstances not conducive to rainbows, there it was. God was romancing me, His Beloved, once again.
There are only two mentions of rainbows in the entire Bible. The first is in Genesis - this is the one everybody remembers. Genesis 9:13-17 I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." So God said to Noah, "This is the sign of the covenant I have established between me and all life on the earth." I am one of those living creatures on earth and my Lord has a covenant promise with me - one that He frequently affirms to me when I need it most.
The only other mention of rainbows in the Word comes in Revelation. How significant is that - the first and last books of the Bible? Revelation 4:2-3 Immediately I was in the Spirit; and behold, a throne set in heaven, and One sat on the throne. And He who sat there was like a jasper and a sardius stone in appearance; and there was a rainbow around the throne, in appearance like an emerald. The completion of His promises to us will show us a rainbow hovering around the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords.
When I have been in the midst of total destruction by the storms of life, there were the rainbows. I remember one time in particular. I had just witnessed the real estate agent hammering the for sale sign into the ground of the home that I had shared with my ex-husband. I had no clue at the time where I was going, but just knew that the Lord had told me I was moving - out of state. Within one hour there was a rainbow in my backyard. His indescribable peace just flooded my spirit as well as my soul and body as I released all questions and doubts to Him. There have been many other rainbows, all significant for some reason. This is one way that He woos me and assures me. Your sign from Him however may be totally different. I assure you that there is a method He uses to communicate with you if you will just meditate on it for a while and seek His revelation to you.
Whatever signs God uses in your life, He does want us to remember that He is always there. He does not walk away from us, but we walk away from Him sometimes. The storms of life may be very distracting, but if we search diligently enough, we will see glimpses of spiritual blue sky. He never leaves us alone. He never forsakes us. Trust that the blue sky is always there, somewhere behind those stormy clouds of life.
Tuesday, March 9, 2010
From Sight to Vision
Last week, I closed with a comparison between our spiritual eyes and our human eyes. This must be an important topic because the Lord has given a different perspective on sight for this week's posting. How do we gain our vision spiritually? When do we cross over between sight and vision and indeed what is the difference? If we enlist the aid of Webster's we will find that while both words are used interchangeably at times, there is a significant difference in the real meaning. Sight is defined as the process, power or function of seeing; the act of looking at or beholding. Vision on the other hand means a supernatural appearance that conveys a revelation; the act or power of imagination; unusual discernment or foresight. Both words convey the meaning of the ability to see, but how different those abilities truly are.
Mark 8:22-26 recounts the story of a blind man being healed. This story is somewhat different then other instances where Jesus healed blindness. Mark 8:24-25 He looked up and said, "I see people; they look like trees walking around." Once more Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. Isn't it interesting that in this case it took two touches from Jesus to heal this man's eyes. With the first touch, he was able to see, but not clearly. People did not have distinguishing human characteristics. Instead they appeared like trees - walking trees! However when Jesus touched him a second time, his eyes were fully restored. Why would Jesus not fully restore his sight the first time He touched Him? Why would it require a second touch?
None of us were present at that time and no more information is provided to us about the situation or this man. Yet any time something has been recorded in the Word, it was put there for our edification, to increase our knowledge and understanding. Therefore we must ask the question what is Jesus communicating to us through this episode? One possibility that rises up in my spirit reflects on our walk with the Lord. Do you remember when you first accepted Christ as your Savior? Was it as if you suddenly saw life and yourself in a totally different perspective than you ever did before? It was like that for me. Blinders had been removed. I saw things both good and bad that I had not seen before. New sight had been given to me. However just as this blind man, my vision was still not where it needed to be. I needed a further touch from the Savior.
As I have grown in the Lord, my vision grows clearer. My understanding of what I see and perceive is sharpened as life comes more into focus, as my Lord comes more into focus. But I continue to need His touch. I know that I am far from where I need to be in "seeing" the world around me and His hands in it. Call it spiritual eye surgery if you like, but I regularly need to have "stuff" removed so that I can live and walk in the direction He desires for me. But there is more to this particular blind man's experience that we need to embrace.
Mark 8:26 Jesus sent him away, saying, ""Don't go back into the village on your way home." A simple statement yet very important. Jesus did not tell him don't go home, He said, don't go back into the village. Why? Think about how you were living before you accepted Christ. There were undoubtedly places you frequented and things that you did that were no longer acceptable in your new "sight". The blind man had only known his town through his blindness. I am hypothesizing now, but imagine what it must have been like to be blind back in Jesus' day. There was no welfare system, no social security disability, certainly no schools for the blind. He would have gone through his whole life wanting what others had and perhaps experiencing significant ridicule and persecution because of his affliction. Imagine the emotional roller coaster that he would have experienced upon receiving full vision. We have no clue as to how the people of the village would have received him with his vision restored. Some of the very people who ridiculed him and made his life miserable could have been the first ones he would encounter returning to the village. What kind of scene would that have been? I wonder.
Jesus sent him home - without going back into the village. Go to the place where your healing will be celebrated and embraced! Let your family shower you with amazement and love. Dwell in that for a while. This is His advice to us as well. When we have accepted Him as our Savior, we are just like that blind man with His vision restored. The Lord encourages us "Go home, don't go back into the village." Go home means go to the place where your healing will be celebrated and you will be embraced. Surround yourself with the family of God. Receive a second touch of the Savior, then a third, a fourth and so on as your vision is sharpened. However do not go back into the village; do not embrace your old life style because you have been changed - healed.
The day will come when you will have to enter those old villages. After all Jesus calls upon us to minister to the lost. However you first go home. You first are strengthened and trained so that when you do go back into those villages of your life, you are a different person and are not impacted and influenced by the same things. We are not called to seclude ourselves and go into hiding. However, the Lord is very clear throughout the Word that we are to associate with fellow believers on a very regular basis to guard against falling away. Our church family is to be a source of training and equipping not escaping reality. We come to our church family (home) for both respite and to worship our Lord. We come "home" to celebrate the transformational process that God is working in our lives. Then we go out into the villages bringing the Light of the World.
This week as you are going about your normal routines, take a moment to contemplate your sight and your vision and ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you how He is bringing into focus those "walking trees" in your life. At the same time, ask Him to reveal to you what the old villages are in your life to which He is either asking you not to return, or to go and visit as a healed and "seeing" person bringing His light into dark places. Then look at "home" and seek out those that will celebrate with you the awesome power and transformation that our Lord has brought into your life. Make this week special!
Mark 8:22-26 recounts the story of a blind man being healed. This story is somewhat different then other instances where Jesus healed blindness. Mark 8:24-25 He looked up and said, "I see people; they look like trees walking around." Once more Jesus put his hands on the man's eyes. Then his eyes were opened, his sight was restored, and he saw everything clearly. Isn't it interesting that in this case it took two touches from Jesus to heal this man's eyes. With the first touch, he was able to see, but not clearly. People did not have distinguishing human characteristics. Instead they appeared like trees - walking trees! However when Jesus touched him a second time, his eyes were fully restored. Why would Jesus not fully restore his sight the first time He touched Him? Why would it require a second touch?
None of us were present at that time and no more information is provided to us about the situation or this man. Yet any time something has been recorded in the Word, it was put there for our edification, to increase our knowledge and understanding. Therefore we must ask the question what is Jesus communicating to us through this episode? One possibility that rises up in my spirit reflects on our walk with the Lord. Do you remember when you first accepted Christ as your Savior? Was it as if you suddenly saw life and yourself in a totally different perspective than you ever did before? It was like that for me. Blinders had been removed. I saw things both good and bad that I had not seen before. New sight had been given to me. However just as this blind man, my vision was still not where it needed to be. I needed a further touch from the Savior.
As I have grown in the Lord, my vision grows clearer. My understanding of what I see and perceive is sharpened as life comes more into focus, as my Lord comes more into focus. But I continue to need His touch. I know that I am far from where I need to be in "seeing" the world around me and His hands in it. Call it spiritual eye surgery if you like, but I regularly need to have "stuff" removed so that I can live and walk in the direction He desires for me. But there is more to this particular blind man's experience that we need to embrace.
Mark 8:26 Jesus sent him away, saying, ""Don't go back into the village on your way home." A simple statement yet very important. Jesus did not tell him don't go home, He said, don't go back into the village. Why? Think about how you were living before you accepted Christ. There were undoubtedly places you frequented and things that you did that were no longer acceptable in your new "sight". The blind man had only known his town through his blindness. I am hypothesizing now, but imagine what it must have been like to be blind back in Jesus' day. There was no welfare system, no social security disability, certainly no schools for the blind. He would have gone through his whole life wanting what others had and perhaps experiencing significant ridicule and persecution because of his affliction. Imagine the emotional roller coaster that he would have experienced upon receiving full vision. We have no clue as to how the people of the village would have received him with his vision restored. Some of the very people who ridiculed him and made his life miserable could have been the first ones he would encounter returning to the village. What kind of scene would that have been? I wonder.
Jesus sent him home - without going back into the village. Go to the place where your healing will be celebrated and embraced! Let your family shower you with amazement and love. Dwell in that for a while. This is His advice to us as well. When we have accepted Him as our Savior, we are just like that blind man with His vision restored. The Lord encourages us "Go home, don't go back into the village." Go home means go to the place where your healing will be celebrated and you will be embraced. Surround yourself with the family of God. Receive a second touch of the Savior, then a third, a fourth and so on as your vision is sharpened. However do not go back into the village; do not embrace your old life style because you have been changed - healed.
The day will come when you will have to enter those old villages. After all Jesus calls upon us to minister to the lost. However you first go home. You first are strengthened and trained so that when you do go back into those villages of your life, you are a different person and are not impacted and influenced by the same things. We are not called to seclude ourselves and go into hiding. However, the Lord is very clear throughout the Word that we are to associate with fellow believers on a very regular basis to guard against falling away. Our church family is to be a source of training and equipping not escaping reality. We come to our church family (home) for both respite and to worship our Lord. We come "home" to celebrate the transformational process that God is working in our lives. Then we go out into the villages bringing the Light of the World.
This week as you are going about your normal routines, take a moment to contemplate your sight and your vision and ask Holy Spirit to reveal to you how He is bringing into focus those "walking trees" in your life. At the same time, ask Him to reveal to you what the old villages are in your life to which He is either asking you not to return, or to go and visit as a healed and "seeing" person bringing His light into dark places. Then look at "home" and seek out those that will celebrate with you the awesome power and transformation that our Lord has brought into your life. Make this week special!
Monday, March 1, 2010
A Better Response
Are you a parent? Have you ever had your kids ask you about something that they know you are not in favor of, but they figure that if they come and ask you in a really nice way that maybe you will change your mind? Their mindset is that there is always a possibility that they can talk you into it or that you may have a sudden revelation that shows they are right about this and you are wrong. This same scenario plays itself out in the workplace, in our social circles and yes, even in the church. We are human and there are no new tricks on the face of the earth with regard to how we humans process information and how we try to satisfy our human desires.
Chapters 22 - 24 of the book of Numbers recounts for us the story of Balaam and King Balak. It is an interesting scenario that is played out for us on the tug of war between people listening to God versus listening to their own desires. When you first begin to read through this, the initial reaction may be one of confusion. Balaam appears to be honoring God by waiting to hear from Him before acting on this request from King Balak. Balaam is offered money to come to King Balak and curse the people of Israel. His response: Numbers 22:8 And he said to them, "Lodge here tonight, and I will bring back word to you, as the Lord speaks to me." So the princes of Moab stayed with Balaam. No surprise that God tells him to not go with them because the people of Israel are blessed. So Balaam obeys and sends the messengers home.
This scenario is repeated as King Balak does not want to take no for an answer. Balaam continues with the "let's wait and see" game. Read the chapters to get the whole story, but the essence of it is that God allows Balaam to travel but even in that process, God blocks Balaam repeatedly. Balaam persists however continually going back to God and asking a question to which he already has the answer. In fact he had the answer before he asked it the first time. Why would Balaam have continued to pester God about an action that he knew God would never reverse? God had told Abraham (Genesis 12:3) "I will bless those who bless you, And I will curse him who curses you; And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed." That covenant promise to Abraham was still standing (and is still standing today) while Balaam petitioned God to comply with Balak's desire. What was driving Balaam?
While none of us was present when Balaam was living, it is possible to conjecture what was motivating him. First we must recognize who he was. According to some Hebrew scholars, Balaam is perceived as the last of the prophets of the gentile nations who received revelation from the Holy One, and surpassed Moses in the wisdom of sorcery. It may be hard for us to wrap our minds around God speaking to someone that was not part of the people of Israel. But history bears out that there were many who honored the Lord even though they were not part of His chosen people, and God used many non-believers to demonstrate His power and faithfulness. Pharaoh is an excellent example of that. However, we must bear in mind that even the devil and his demons believe in God. It is how they walk out that belief that separates them from the love of God. Balaam understood the power of God and that His blessing on the people of Israel was real. What Balaam continued to pursue was his self interest in this series of events. He wanted what was pleasing to him and surely was hoping that somehow he could still get the material wealth that was being dangled in front of him.
We all have access to understanding and embracing the will and the heart of God. Study His Word and seek discernment as to what He is saying through it. God is really not difficult to comprehend. The more open we are to Holy Spirit the more we will be able to see the separation between our will and His. The more we surrender to Him, the clearer His voice becomes in our lives. Our daily life is not about us; it is about living a life that honors Him and brings joy to Him. But how often do we have a "carrot" dangling in front of us that brings us to Him with a petition that is focused on our life and our well being versus focused on Him and kingdom matters? Are we like Balaam and just hoping that maybe God will not be consistent this time? Just maybe God will say to us, "Oh go ahead... I understand that you have a need to have such and such." Do we really think that God is so easily persuaded that what we want is more important than His consistently standing firm in His Word?
I have recently been placed in a position of re-evaluation of how I react to life. What is more important ~ how a given situation makes me feel or how I react to that situation in a loving Christ-like manner? I am swiftly coming to the understanding that no matter how something makes me feel, I want to learn to not react to it out of my flesh - my emotions. I want more than I can tell you to learn how to be the person God has called me to be consistently. I do not want to be swayed by the circumstances of my life. I do not want to become a Balaam that continues to pester God to have things my way. Instead I would like very much to become one who knows the heart of my Lord so well that I know without a doubt the response that He wants from me in any situation. Is that so impossible?
I have been blessed many times by the Lord's revelation to me - sometimes it is the quickening of Holy Spirit within me - that directs me to alter the direction I was headed. I know that the Lord wants the best for me, but His best does not always equate to what others may deem as His best. We all have a tendency to see things through our human eyes versus our spiritual eyes. My human eyes are already wearing corrective lenses because I cannot see 20/20 without them. How unfortunate for me if I start trusting these human eyes to tell me what I need to know before I move. No, I seek to utilize my spiritual eyes and ask continually for God to "clean" those lenses through which I see. I want to daily develop a better response to Him in my life than I did the day before. Lord, empty me of me and fill me with You!!!
Chapters 22 - 24 of the book of Numbers recounts for us the story of Balaam and King Balak. It is an interesting scenario that is played out for us on the tug of war between people listening to God versus listening to their own desires. When you first begin to read through this, the initial reaction may be one of confusion. Balaam appears to be honoring God by waiting to hear from Him before acting on this request from King Balak. Balaam is offered money to come to King Balak and curse the people of Israel. His response: Numbers 22:8 And he said to them, "Lodge here tonight, and I will bring back word to you, as the Lord speaks to me." So the princes of Moab stayed with Balaam. No surprise that God tells him to not go with them because the people of Israel are blessed. So Balaam obeys and sends the messengers home.
This scenario is repeated as King Balak does not want to take no for an answer. Balaam continues with the "let's wait and see" game. Read the chapters to get the whole story, but the essence of it is that God allows Balaam to travel but even in that process, God blocks Balaam repeatedly. Balaam persists however continually going back to God and asking a question to which he already has the answer. In fact he had the answer before he asked it the first time. Why would Balaam have continued to pester God about an action that he knew God would never reverse? God had told Abraham (Genesis 12:3) "I will bless those who bless you, And I will curse him who curses you; And in you all the families of the earth shall be blessed." That covenant promise to Abraham was still standing (and is still standing today) while Balaam petitioned God to comply with Balak's desire. What was driving Balaam?
While none of us was present when Balaam was living, it is possible to conjecture what was motivating him. First we must recognize who he was. According to some Hebrew scholars, Balaam is perceived as the last of the prophets of the gentile nations who received revelation from the Holy One, and surpassed Moses in the wisdom of sorcery. It may be hard for us to wrap our minds around God speaking to someone that was not part of the people of Israel. But history bears out that there were many who honored the Lord even though they were not part of His chosen people, and God used many non-believers to demonstrate His power and faithfulness. Pharaoh is an excellent example of that. However, we must bear in mind that even the devil and his demons believe in God. It is how they walk out that belief that separates them from the love of God. Balaam understood the power of God and that His blessing on the people of Israel was real. What Balaam continued to pursue was his self interest in this series of events. He wanted what was pleasing to him and surely was hoping that somehow he could still get the material wealth that was being dangled in front of him.
We all have access to understanding and embracing the will and the heart of God. Study His Word and seek discernment as to what He is saying through it. God is really not difficult to comprehend. The more open we are to Holy Spirit the more we will be able to see the separation between our will and His. The more we surrender to Him, the clearer His voice becomes in our lives. Our daily life is not about us; it is about living a life that honors Him and brings joy to Him. But how often do we have a "carrot" dangling in front of us that brings us to Him with a petition that is focused on our life and our well being versus focused on Him and kingdom matters? Are we like Balaam and just hoping that maybe God will not be consistent this time? Just maybe God will say to us, "Oh go ahead... I understand that you have a need to have such and such." Do we really think that God is so easily persuaded that what we want is more important than His consistently standing firm in His Word?
I have recently been placed in a position of re-evaluation of how I react to life. What is more important ~ how a given situation makes me feel or how I react to that situation in a loving Christ-like manner? I am swiftly coming to the understanding that no matter how something makes me feel, I want to learn to not react to it out of my flesh - my emotions. I want more than I can tell you to learn how to be the person God has called me to be consistently. I do not want to be swayed by the circumstances of my life. I do not want to become a Balaam that continues to pester God to have things my way. Instead I would like very much to become one who knows the heart of my Lord so well that I know without a doubt the response that He wants from me in any situation. Is that so impossible?
I have been blessed many times by the Lord's revelation to me - sometimes it is the quickening of Holy Spirit within me - that directs me to alter the direction I was headed. I know that the Lord wants the best for me, but His best does not always equate to what others may deem as His best. We all have a tendency to see things through our human eyes versus our spiritual eyes. My human eyes are already wearing corrective lenses because I cannot see 20/20 without them. How unfortunate for me if I start trusting these human eyes to tell me what I need to know before I move. No, I seek to utilize my spiritual eyes and ask continually for God to "clean" those lenses through which I see. I want to daily develop a better response to Him in my life than I did the day before. Lord, empty me of me and fill me with You!!!
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