Whose Perspective?

A friend of mine recently posted the following comment on her Facebook page: REMEMBER You can only be what people have allowed you to be in their lives no matter what you wanted or have tried to be. So no condemnation for trying and being rejected. Just be who they have allowed you to be.  That really got me thinking.  I know what my friend meant, however far too many of us have lived our lives based on what others' perceptions of us were. Or even more accurately, what we thought their perceptions of us were.  We live life out of a place of misinformation and second guessing other people's thoughts.  

Have you ever thought through an entire conversation before opening your mouth and then changed what you were going to say based on how you thought someone else would respond to you?  I have.  For years.  The sad aspect of this is the majority of time we were way off base.  In most cases, the other person is not nearly as focused on us as we suppose.  And here is the embarrassing truth about this: ultimately we are trying to control our "environment" and those people in our lives.  We are not allowing them the freedom to respond and react individually.  Rather through our assumptions (i.e. our perceptions) we predict how things are going to go and then adapt accordingly. 

I am not saying that there are not times you can predict what someone is going to do or say.  The question we need to ask ourselves is whether what we are going to say or do is in alignment with the Word of God.  Romans 14:16-19 Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not eating and drinking, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. For he who serves Christ in these things is acceptable to God and approved by men. Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify another. While we recognize that Paul is speaking specifically about the way members of the church were condemning fellow believers, we must look deeper in to how this applies to us today.

I admit guilty to not always restricting the words of my mouth to building up or edifying another person. The Lord fortunately is doing a work in me teaching me how to not only recognize that but to grow past it.  My perspective has been limited by the wounds of life.  These wounds began to build a cage around me.  A very perceptive servant of the Lord revealed to me that this cage (or suit of armor) was comprised of barbed wire.  Not only did I inflict pain on myself but it also inflicted pain on those trying to get too close to me.  I have come to realize the truth in this as well as to realize how many of us are living our daily lives in some type of restrictive armor out of these wounds.  Suddenly I am able to not only see myself more clearly, but see how I have impacted those around me.

Looking at specifics, if I make a comment that is in fact critical and judgmental, no matter how accurate I believe the statement is, I am not in reality edifying that person - whether they are the recipient of my remarks or simply the object of my remarks.  Do my remarks build up or tear down?  I realize that I need a new standard on which to base my conversations.  That standard is not the world's standard.  It is the Lord's.  Romans 15:1-3 We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak, and not to please ourselves; let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to edify him. For Christ did not please himself; but, as it is written, "The reproaches of those who reproached thee fell on me."  This does not say that we condone the failings of those around us, but rather to strive for their good, their edification.  That may be a stretch for some of us, but I believe that Holy Spirit will indeed instruct and guide us in offering hope and change without tearing down.

Psalm 69:5-7 O God, you know how foolish I am; my sins cannot be hidden from you. Don't let those who trust in you stumble because of me, O Sovereign LORD Almighty. Don't let me cause them to be humiliated, O God of Israel.  Perhaps this scripture really nails it.  King David understood the power of influence we have as believers.  Our behavior through words and actions can either lead others to our Lord, or drive them away.  If we claim to love the Lord, yet our actions cry out anger, hate, judgment, etc, how will that invite someone to want what we have?  If we live our lives in fear of condemnation, how does that demonstrate the peace Christ died for us to have?  John 14:27 "I am leaving you with a gift -- peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives. So don't be troubled or afraid."  

Returning to the opening comments.  When I lived my life in fear of judgment, condemnation and repercussions, I was not only trying to control my environment, but I was living within the cage of what I believed others were thinking about me.  I was allowing those perceptions to shape who I was.  Not only was that exhausting, but I was limiting what God was trying to do in my life.  His beliefs about who I am and what is ahead of me are far greater than anything my mere brain can comprehend.  Once I made the deliberate decision to shed my armor of barbed wire, I was able to step into a new level of peace and joy.  There is now freedom for me to allow those around me to be who they are, without my filters and my slants.  I have learned a priceless lesson.  People need to live their lives as freely as I want to live mine.  It is amazing how much less stressful living can be.  Thank you, Lord, for your unconditional love that has brought me to this new place.  Shalom, Everyone!

 

Seasons of Extremes

In the past few years we have experienced many significant periods of extremes in our weather patterns both here at home and around the world.  Just here in Georgia, we have gone through severe droughts for a period of several years followed by a 500 year flood in nearby towns that decimated homes and livelihoods.  As I have been contemplating the personal seasons of my life, the Lord has illustrated for me the similarities between those earthly seasons and our spiritual ones.  Perhaps there is someone out there to whom this analogy will speak and it will bring you comfort if you are in the midst of an extreme season.

Consider the impact of drought.  Several years ago, we were in the midst of a multi-year drought in the southeast.  Here in Georgia that translated to water usage restrictions, the end of recreation on the waters of our once plentiful lakes and tremendous economic impact suffered by many businesses .  People complained about the inconveniences, politicians argued about the obligations of citizens to do their part, and pastors preached to their flocks about civic responsibility as well as the power of prayer for rain.  Ultimately we all survived, but there were some incredibly positive outcomes that we could not have foreseen while going through the season.

Once the rains returned to our area, the lakes slowly refilled.  My husband and i were blessed to have the opportunity to camp on one of them in September of 2010.  We experienced crystal clear water.  Imagine swimming at night under a full moon and being able to see your own feet in over 40 feet of water!  This was a direct result of the drought.  During the drought when the lakes had dried up completely, several events occurred.  First all of the garbage that people had dumped into the lake became embarrassingly obvious.  Teams formed to remove all of this debris from the lake.  Second as the lake bed dried out, so did all of the various lifeforms that had been destroying the ecological balance of the lake.  Over time natural grass grew over the bottom of the bed and a meadow evolved.  As the waters returned, the "vessel" to contain them was prepared to beautifully receive them.  As fish returned, they had a wonderfully refreshed habitat in which to live.  The color was exquisite.  Beauty returned to the entire area.

Now compare this to our spiritual lives.  We often encounter droughts.  Frequently we bemoan, where are you, God??  Yet if we were to honestly examine our lives, we may find similarities to this natural phenomenon.  We have allowed debris to collect in our "vessel" and this chokes the life out of us.  Perhaps God needs us to get "dried out" so that He can refill us with fresh water.  Perhaps in the midst of this drought, He wants us to plant fresh grass to line our vessels.  In other words, we may need the seed of The Word to once again line our vessels.  Have we become too busy to truly meditate daily on His Word?  Have we become so preoccupied with the distractions of life that we fail to continually clean out the worldly debris?  Are you ready for fresh living water to attract others to your life and your witness?  If you are in a drought right now, examine your circumstances and ask Him to reveal the actions He wants you to take to prepare your vessel for refilling.

Now consider the impact of the floods.  The 500 year flood that hit much of the Atlanta area in 2009 took everyone by surprise.  It was not just the homes on the rivers' and streams' banks that were impacted.  Beautifully manicured neighborhoods of large homes were equally impacted in this event.  Waters flooded schools, churches, businesses.  They destroyed roads and bridges.  The massive influx of rain in less than 24 hours was record breaking.  We have seen the same thing happen throughout the country.  Flood waters bring about so much shifting.  Ground is swept up in the torrent of the waters and is redeposited elsewhere.  Foundations shift and many things are simply swept away - totally.

In the aftermath both good and bad result.  Some areas are deemed beyond repair and abandoned.  This often leaves an eyesore for those living in the area or simply passing through it.  However, in other cases, buildings were demolished and rebuilt.  Others were restored.  Roads were repaired and in the process improved.   Businesses flourished that focused on restoration and building.  In addition, the deposit of rich topsoil onto the fields provides for a refreshment of the land.  Farmers in the delta regions of rivers have benefited over the centuries on these rich deposits to provide the much needed nutrients for crop growth.  I once heard a sermon that proclaimed, without the muck and mire, the reeds cannot grow.   So out of the extremes of too much water, good can come.

Once again, compare this to our spiritual lives.  Have you ever been overwhelmed by all that is happening to you.  Ever felt as if you could barely keep your head above water to gasp for breath?  I have.  It is important when we are in these seasons to first trust that God is there supporting us even if we do feel like we are drowning.  Even Jonah had to go under in order to come out back in balance in His relationship with the Lord.  Once the flood of life begins to recede, it is critical that we take time to evaluate what has happened and what He wants us to do with it.  What needs to be abandoned as not of Him?  What needs to be restored to its original beauty or better yet, updated to fit with out current life circumstances?  Where has He deposited fresh silt to promote new growth for you and for the kingdom?


We will always experience seasons of extremes in our lives as long as we live in this fallen world.  However, those seasons are never meant to destroy us.  Our wonderful Lord's desire is to always draw us closer to Him and bring us in closer alignment with His purposes for our lives.  Whether you are in the midst of an extreme season or in between seasons, be mindful of His purposes in all that happens in our lives.  He is there for us, with us and leading us.  Trust Him.  Always.  Proverbs 3:5-6  Trust in the LORD with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. 6 Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct your paths.